Page 97 of Breakers (Academy of Stardom 3)

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Pen

An hour later, after I’ve finished my performance, Grim looks up at me from behind her desk, a determined look on her face. “I’m going to tell Beast as soon as we’re alone,” she confesses.

“Good. You shouldn’t make such an important decision on your own,” I say gently, leaning over and folding my hand over hers. I’ve changed out of my performance outfit and am nursing a Malibu and coke.

“Yeah, I know…” Her voice trails off as she picks at the skin around her nail.

“What?”

“This was never the plan, Pen. I never wanted to bring up a child in this environment, and yet…”

“Yet?”

“Yet now that our baby is growing inside of me, I can’t… I don’t want to…” her voice cracks and she swallows hard, gritting her teeth.

“Then don’t, Grim. Keep the baby.”

Leaning back in her seat, Grim covers her face for a moment. Her shoulders start shaking and muffled sobs leak out from behind her fingers. Seeing someone so together, so strong, break apart like this kills me. There’s a softer side to Grim, and it just proves that no matter how strong anyone appears to be on the outside, we’re all just covering up our own heartbreak and insecurities on the inside.

“Grim, it’ll be okay…” I get up to give her a hug, but she holds her hand up, swiping at her face and ruining the newly applied mascara she’d just put on.

“No, don’t. It’ll just make me worse. I won’t be able to stop if you hug me,” she sniffles, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her top.

“It’s okay to cry, Grim. It’s probably got a lot to do with the hormones too.”

“No, it’snotokay. Not for me. I can’t afford to be seen as weak. I can’t afford to have any vulnerabilities. It’s bad enough loving Beast, but a child…? If I keep this baby, then it will be targeted, just like Lena has been for you. Just like my sister would be if anyone knew of her existence. Women like me can’t have children or a family and run a successful,illegalbusiness. This changes everything, Pen.”

“So you’renotgoing to keep the baby?”

“The honest answer is that I don’t know. Fuck, I could really do with a stiff drink right now.”

“How far along are you? Have you seen a doctor yet?”

“A doctor?” she replies incredulously. “Fuck, I only took the pregnancy test this morning, so I’m not that far yet. I haven’t had a proper doctor for years.”

“Don’t you ever get sick?”

“Rarely, and if I do need a doctor for something, Joey normally sorts me out. Most prescription drugs can be bought on the black market.”

“That quack? You need aproperdoctor, Grim, not some dude who knows nothing about women and pregnancy.”

“I know, you’re right, but it’s not as simple as that for me. I trust very few people, Pen.”

“What about Hudson? He’s got kids, why not ask him?”

“He’ll want me to keep the baby....”

“You don’t want the baby?”

Tears well in Grim’s eyes, and she looks down at her hand resting on her stomach. “I love Beast. Fuck, I love that brute so fucking much. How can I even consider killing a part of him, a part of me? I’m a horrible fucking person.”

“You’rescared, Grim. Your fears are warranted. I understand that for a woman in your position this isn’t a decision you can make lightly. I understand this all too well, you know I do. There is no judgement from me. Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.”

“If this was you, Pen, what would you do?”

“Do you want my honest opinion?” I ask her.

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