Page 26 of Lyrical (Academy of Stardom 2)

11

Zayn

Icame here with a message from Jeb. I came here in search of Pen with his words burning on my tongue and his wrath bleeding from the wound on my chest.

I came here to destroy Pen.

Only she destroyedme.

Every step, every move, every twist, turn, and leap cut me deep. Far more than the two-inch slash to my chest. That’s just a superficial wound in comparison, something I’ve become accustomed to, but seeing her like this, so raw, in pain, bleeding from her soul, that hurts me so much more.

It makes me view things differently. It makes me questioneverything.

Once again she cut me, just like she had Friday night at Grim’s club.

Her power to wield her emotions and weaponize dance floors me.

She’s incredible.

And she’ll be the death of me. Ofus.

I’m here to do a job. I’m here for our crew.

But Pen is a problem we hadn’t foreseen.

Stupid.

Of course she would be here at the Academy. This place was always her dream, and despite every damn thing going against her, despite a mother who never supported her, she’s made it happen anyway. She’s grabbed her future by the balls, and I admire her for it even if in the beginning I’d believed that Jeb had pulled strings for her to be here. I can see now that wasn’t the case. Why the fuck we didn’t factor her into the equation is beyond me, and now we’re all fucking struggling. The end goal doesn’t seem so clear anymore.

Nothing is clear anymore.

Reluctantly, I release her from my hold and lower her to her feet. My hand is slick with her heat, with her release, and my cock is desperate for the same. But this moment isn’t about me, it’s about her. Pen.

My Pen.

She holds so many secrets. Secrets I need to unravel. I see them in her eyes. I tasted them on her tongue. I mourn for the time when we were open with one another, when she trusted me enough with her hurt and her pain. I want her to trust me again, but the second I give her the message from Jeb she will shore up her defences and harden herself to me.

I hate that.

I fuckinghatethat, but I have little choice.

Actually, who am I fucking kidding? Idohave a choice. I could have told Jeb to take his message and shove it up his fucking arse, but I didn’t. I played the game even when the prize wasn't so clear anymore. We’ve always had a goal in sight, and Pen was never part of that. Xeno never fails to remind us all of that fact over and over again. The fucking prick.

With flushed cheeks and the dignity of a queen, Pen looks at me, her gaze searching. “What do you want, Zayn?” she asks again. Her body is trembling and it’s all I can do not to pull her back into my arms and hold her like I often did when we were kids. It takes monumental effort to keep my distance when all I want is to close the gap and end this fucking torment for good.

“Zayn, what do you want?” And I know she isn’t talking about the here and now, she’s asking about the future, about what’s really in the depths of my fucked-up heart.

You.

God fucking damn it, I want you, Pen.

That’s what I want. That’s what we all want, even Xeno, if he would only just let himself acknowledge that. Of course, I don’t give her the honest truth. Instead, I deliver the message from Jeb because that’s what Ihaveto do.

“I’m here to pass on a message. Jeb said that your dance, whilst entertaining, wasn’t what he had in mind. That he hasn’t forgotten your conversation and you’d be mindful not to piss him off again.” I swallow hard, hating the way her gaze flashes with anger, then with fear. But more than that, I hate the fact that I still have her scent on my fingers whilst I deliver this message, that the connection we just shared, that her coming apart is tainted now. That it will always be tainted by him, by Jeb.

“And?” she asks.

“You no longer work at Rocks—”

---