Page 25 of Giving It to the Monster

“I’m Penny. Rage’s old lady, and I’m also the mother to Leonardo. We’re trying for another baby but so far, nothing.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“I’m a rebel,” Elena said. “I’m not a Saint and Sinners old lady. I’m Pipe’s old lady, and he is the Prez of the Hell’s Wolves.”

“Which is where I come in. I’m Sarah, and I’m also the old lady to Knife. He’s one of the Hell’s Wolves as well.”

“I’m Shannon. I’m a club whore, and I have no intention of settling down.”

Natasha caught the pained look in Melissa’s face as she drank a large gulp of wine.

“I’m Shawl’s old lady,” a blonde said, perking up. She was drinking water. “I’m Emma.”

“So there are more Hell’s Wolves old ladies than there are Saint and Sinners?” Natasha asked.

“It’s why we need you here to balance us out,” Melissa said.

“I’m not an old lady, and I’m not a club whore either.”

“You belong to Saint. You can’t deny it.”

She stared down into her glass. “Saint and I are complicated.”

“Do you love him?” Penny asked.

“What?”

“You’ve been married to a scumbag, and the first person you come to for help is Saint. I think there are some feelings there that you’re not being completely honest about.”

Natasha laughed.

“You left him,” Elena said. “Did you want to leave him?”

Natasha licked her lips, and stared past Elena’s shoulder. “Did I want to leave Saint?” She bit her lip, and suddenly felt a need to cry. “It’s complicated, and even though I did want to leave him, it was who he was becoming I wanted to leave. Let me explain. The first time I met Saint, he was in the school playground, and it was first thing in the morning. We were five years old, and he was moody. I saw him sitting on this swing, looking like someone had taken his toy away. I went up, and pushed him. He didn’t like me at first, but I was pretty persistent.” She smiled, recalling that moment. Out of all of the children at school, Saint had been the one she’d wanted to know. She hadn’t been able to look away.

“He never talks about you,” Elena said.

“Your dad was pretty determined for him to become something when it came to the club. Even before I left, he was fighting. Always turning up at my house bleeding and bruised.”

“He was your childhood sweetheart?” Penny asked.

“Yes.”

“It just seems so surreal that the hard assed Saint could have a sweetheart,” Penny said.

“He wasn’t always like this. Saint wasn’t cold, or hard. He was this sweet guy. He was my first kiss, the first guy I slept with. He was the man that meant everything to me.” Natasha licked her dry lips, then took another gulp of wine. “No, I didn’t want to leave him. I hated the thought of it, but I also saw the guy I loved was dying. Every single day your father was turning him into a man I didn’t recognize, I couldn’t recognize, and little by little, it was killing him. In my heart I didn’t leave the boy and man I fell in love with. I had to leave the man your father was turning him into. Saint changed. He was different. He wasn’t mine.” Sucking her lips in, she saw the pity in all of their gazes. “So I left, and I dated a little. Never really got into a relationship. My folks left Sinners’ Corner, and I met Simon. The lovely, a little older, lawyer who seemed nice. I dated him. Never really committing to anything. Then my parents passed, and I thought why not? Why not marry this guy who seems to like me? I liked him. He liked me, it should work. I wasn’t going back to Sinners’ Corner, and my parents were dead.”

“When you had no one, he was the one that made you feel alive, even if it was just a little bit,” Shannon said.

Elena started giggling. “I’m sorry, but you left Saint because you were scared of him becoming this kind of monster, and in turn you ended up with a monster?”

Natasha stared at Elena. “I was pretty stupid.”

“Stupid is not what I would call it,” Elena said.

“Elena,” Penny, Shannon, and Melissa said.

“What? I get it. Her asshole husband deserves everything that is coming to him, but please remember, Saint is my brother. She hurt him, and even I’ve seen a difference inside him since she came back. Saint is better than that other asshole, and yet instead of coming back home to Saint, she went with someone she didn’t even love.”

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