Page 14 of Giving It to the Monster

“I don’t know. When I think back, I think it’s what was expected. We’d been together a few years, and everything seemed good, and then we were married. I thought I’d be able to completely commit, give myself to him. It never happened.” She licked her suddenly dry lips, aware of their closeness. She’d been with Saint for over a week, and during that time, the years they had been apart faded away. It was like she never left, only there were memories without him.

Saint stared down at her lips. “Have there been a lot of men?”

She shook her head. “No.”

Staring at his chest, she looked at the Saint and Sinners badge. Toward the latter years of their dating, she’d hated that symbol on his jacket. The logo, the emblem, whatever the hell it was called. A bike encased in flames with a woman’s body that had a halo above it. It was crude, wrong, but it was the club that had taken over his life.

“You’re not going to ask me?” Saint asked.

“No. I know you wouldn’t have waited for me, and I never expected you to.” She touched the club. “You’re the Prez now. What is the club like?”

“It’s different. I told you that.”

She nodded. “I’d like to see it one day. Would you be willing to show me this part of your life?”

“Of course.”

Wiping away the tears, she took a deep breath. “You probably think I’m a right girl. Crying.”

“Not at all. It sounds to me like you’ve had a lot of crap to deal with.” He stroked her cheek one final time.

Stepping up to the stove, she went back to preparing her homemade marinara. “I really do appreciate you putting up with me.”

“I wasn’t going to turn my back on you.” He took a seat directly opposite her. His entire presence made her pause, to compose herself. Saint always had this effect on her. Even before their first kiss. She’d been ever so jealous of all the girls swarming around him, wanting his attention. He belonged to her, and she belonged to him.

That kiss, it had changed everything.

“Thank you.”

She had turned her back on him. When he’d needed her most, she’d walked away.

He wasn’t the same guy.

Natasha’s biggest regret was walking away and not coming back. She couldn’t say that to him. Not now.

“I’ll take you to the club after some food. Elena will be there with Pipe.”

“I’d like to meet her. I doubt she remembers me.”

“I don’t think she does. She didn’t have a good time of it when Mom took her away.”

“How is your mom?” she asked.

“Dead.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. We both have lost our parents, Nat.”

“Did you ever see her again?” Natasha remembered how hard it was for him to watch his sister be taken away. He’d loved Elena so much.

“No. Elena and I, we’re having a few troubles. Brother-sister kind of stuff, and it makes life hard.”

“She doesn’t remember all the times you took care of her?”

“No.”

Natasha stirred the sauce all the while staring at him. “Why don’t you tell her?”

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