Page 45 of Giving It to the Man-Whore

Chapter Nine

“My jeans don’t fit,” Mel said, walking downstairs to the kitchen where Pea was trying every different brand of tea that she’d purchased. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m trying to make the mornings easier for you. Do you have any idea what it does to a man when his woman is spewing up first thing in the morning?” Pea winced at one cup, and shook his head. “I was reading in one of those books that coffee can set you off. I’m trying to find an alternative drink in the morning.” He moved to another cup. “That’s fucking fruity. What kind of girls’ drink is that?”

She giggled. “Orange and cranberry. Very nice, Pea.” She could tell that he liked it.

“There’s no way I’ll ever get away with drinking this shit.” He took another sip with a sigh. “Your jeans.”

He glanced down at where her stomach had begun to round, and her jeans were open. “There’s no way I’m getting these on. My beached whale days are coming.”

“I’ve always wanted to sleep with a whale. They’re meant to be lovely creatures.”

She rolled her eyes and spun. “I hate this.”

“If you take them off and do it, I can admire you even more. I’m thinking a shopping trip is in order, with some G-strings or thongs?” Pea held his hands up in the air. “I want to see that glorious ass wiggle as you walk.”

“You’re worse than I am.”

Pea was making her laugh as he walked out from behind the counter, his arms in the air, and he was shaking his ass. “You’ll do it better than me.”

“This is not making me feel well at all.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “You know this means we have to go shopping, and seeing as you hate spending money more than anything else in the world, I’ll come with you, babe.”

“I don’t want to shop. I want to fit into my old clothes.”

“This is a rite of passage for all pregnant women. You’re going to get nice and round, and we get to buy you new clothes. We’ll do it once, and you can use them every time you’re pregnant.”

She pouted. “I don’t like wasting.”

“Babe, you better not throw these clothes out, because you’re going to be in them again. Now, have a sip of your girly tea, and then we’re going shopping.”

Mel did as he instructed, and he was right. It was so fruity and delicious. After some toast to help settle her stomach, she and Pea were heading out toward the mall. He was doing all the driving.

“Will you be in the room with me?”

“In the room for what? You changing clothes?”

“No, when I give birth.”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Erm, I saw the video you sent me. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Men do this, like, all the time. I don’t know why you’re worrying so much, but if you can’t handle it, I understand. I totally get it.”

“You’re doing the guilt thing again, aren’t you?”

“I just want my husband, you know, the guy that gave me a child, to be there for me, but if he can’t handle it then fine.” She glanced out the window, smiling.

“Fine. I’ll be there. I’ll hold your hand, and then I get to hold our kid first. It’ll be me that places either her or him in your arms. You got it.”

She turned toward him. “I knew you would.” She leaned over, and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Did I tell you recently that I love you?”

“You don’t tell me enough.”

“Well, I love you, Pea.”

“Who is the best husband in the whole world?”

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