Page 9 of Big & Burly Rockstar

Chapter 5

Elli

When the support act finishes, the crowd becomes restless. They easily drown out the Black Sabbath song playing to fill the time before The Bayonets go on stage. Some people clap, others whistle and stomp their feet.

I’m standing at the side of the stage behind Devon and the others, feeling strangely excited to hear them play. It’s been so long since I saw live music. So long since I was allowed to feel the reverberations of a bass-guitar deep in my chest. My soul yearns to lose itself in music. All my life, it’s been my anchor. The thing that both grounded me to reality and let me escape.

In front of me, Devon and his bandmates are silent, the little I can make out of their faces in the dim light looking focused.

Pete appears with Carrie in tow, once again wearing his fake smile. His eyes go to my cleavage and his smile widens. I fight the urge to slap him. Half a million dollars, I remind myself. But I really hope I don’t have to see Pete all that much over the coming year.

“Ready, boys?” he asks, his gaze still on my chest. As soon as the guys turn toward us, he looks away.

“Ready,” Devon says, and the others nod. He looks at me, a half-smile pulling at his lips. It takes all my self-control not to stare at his mouth. But it’s not my fault that it looks so damn kissable. It has nothing to do with him as a person, obviously. I still think he’s a pain in the ass.

“Prepare to have your mind blown,” Devon says, winking. He turns and walks onto the stage before I have the chance to reply.

The crowd loses its damn mind. They’re so loud, I wish I had headphones to protect my ears. My eyes are on Devon as he picks up his guitar, a cocky smile on his face. And for the first time, it truly sinks in who he is. What he is. He’s not just one of the world’s most famous rock stars, but to the people screaming their head off in the crowd, he’s basically a god.

Michael counts in, then an explosion of sound thunders through the arena. The crowd screams and Carrie says something to me, but I barely take in either. The music flows through me and I let it carry me away. And then Devon sings, and nothing else matters but his deep, rumbly voice. Finally, I understand their success. I understand the devotion of their fans. Every chord makes me shiver, every note he sings makes my heart soar. Seeing them play is magic. And Devon? He’s the magician. I could never tell him, but—he’s mesmerizing.

For close to two hours, they give it their all. For close to two hours, I keep my gaze fixed on the stage. I keep my gaze fixed on Devon, unable and unwilling to look away.

And then Finn, Michael, and Jake leave the stage and Devon picks up an acoustic guitar. “This is gonna be our last song,” Devon says. “And it’s a special one. And tonight, I’m gonna dedicate it to a special girl.” He turns to look at me, his eyes shining. “This is for you, princess.”

My heart thunders in my chest. I know it’s just for show. I know it’s just for the media. And yet…

Devon picks out a slow, melancholy tune on his guitar, his eyes closed. And then he sings, and once again I’m under his spell.

Moonshine caught you

Silver light on ivory

Moonshine found you

brought you back to me.

The way he sings it—he sounds heartbroken. He sounds like I feel, every day of every week. Tears sting my eyes, and I blink them away. Hearing him sing this song—it’s like he’s allowing me a glimpse behind the curtain, just a little peek of who he really is.

Moonshine fades

silver turns to day

Moonshine leaves

takes you away from me.

On the very last note, Devon’s voice cracks and a single tear runs down my face. Before I can wipe it away, he turns to look at me. And then he smiles. It’s not an arrogant smile, not a provocative smile. It’s sweet and open and kind. He’s smiling at me like he understands. Like he knows. And I have no idea how to deal with it.

Devon

Euphoria thrums through my blood as we walk off stage after finishing the encore. The screams of the crowd reverberate in my bones. This ecstasy I feel is mirrored on the other’s faces. For the first time in weeks, Finn actually looks healthy. He looks alive. This moment. This is the reason we do what we do. There’s nothing that compares to it, nothing that makes me this damn happy. Except maybe the look on Elli’s face. There’s less of the mistrust and defensiveness. She looks open and vulnerable and so fucking beautiful it hurts. I see sadness and joy, fear and excitement, secrets and truth, all mingling together on her face.

“So? Mind blown?” I ask her.

I half expect her to roll her eyes. Instead, she grins. “To pieces.”

“Good.” I grin back at her. “I thought you didn’t like music.”

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