Page 89 of Be With Me (Adair Family 4)

“I’m going next door to spend time with Regan.” Robyn brought my head up from my phone. I sat on a bar stool at their kitchen counter. Robyn gave me a worried look before leaning up to kiss the corner of Lachlan’s mouth.

His hand automatically grazed her belly as he bent his head for her, and I envied him as he shared a tender look with his wife.

When she was gone, Lachlan sat on the stool beside mine. He studied me, brows creased with concern. “Why are you here and not with Ery?”

“She’s safe,” I promised him. “Mac and Arro are with her.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Let’s wait on Thane.” I’d asked my brothers to meet me tonight because after that horrific showdown with Ery, I was desperate to solve this god-awful mystery. I wanted to know who was after me and why.

There was only one thing in my past I could think of that might have provoked this, and by not confessing it to my brothers, I was hindering our investigation.

I just hoped they didn’t think too badly of me once I told them the truth. I had to hope that I’d proven myself enough in the last year, that they’d know I was trying not to be such a fuckup.

And failing.

I was fucking things up to an epic degree with Eredine.

I missed her already.

The sound of Lachlan’s front door opening broke me from my miserable musings. “Just me!” Thane called a few seconds before he appeared.

He took one look at us, at our beers, sighed heavily, and yanked open the fridge. We waited as he took out a beer, popped the cap, and leaned against the counter opposite us. “What now?” he asked after a quick swig.

Lachlan gestured to me. “Ask Mystery Man here.”

Thane turned to me.

I exhaled nervously.

Before I could overthink it, I told them about what happened to Colin in Thailand.

By the time my words trailed off, my head was bowed in shame. It didn’t matter that Brodan and Eredine had shown me compassion, that they’d tried to tell me it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t let go of the blame. And part of me was waiting for my elder brothers’ condemnation to validate my own messed-up feelings.

Instead, I felt Lachlan’s hand curl around my nape. He gave me a squeeze and bent to press his forehead to mine.

He didn’t say a word.

And I swear that act of quiet comfort and compassion broke me.

I turned into him, like I was that three-year-old who’d clung to him after our mother died or the twenty-seven-year-old who’d felt like a boy again when our father died.

I gripped my brother so tight as I tried to hold back tears. “I’m sorry,” I choked out.

Lachlan’s voice was gruff as he said, “You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

I wanted those words to be magical. To erase my guilt like I’d always imagined they might. They didn’t. But they eased my fear that I’d lose all that I’d gained with my family in the past year. Releasing my big brother, I sank back onto my stool and shot a look at Thane.

His eyes were bright. “I wish you’d told us you were carrying this around. But at least Brodan was there for you.”

“Aye. It’s actually a relief to hear that.” Lachlan sighed. “I can’t make you think you’re not to blame for this, Arr. You’ll need to work through that. But for now, we can look into the people involved. I’ll need Colin’s family name.”

I nodded. “And he had a pretty serious girlfriend. She outright blamed me for his death.”

Lachlan raised an eyebrow. “We’ll definitely need her name.”

“Does Ery know?” Thane asked.

“Aye, I told her before we got together. The night of the ceilidh when Lachlan and I got drunk … that was the anniversary of Colin’s death.”

“Fuck,” Thane huffed. “I wish we’d known.”

“We know now.” Lachlan studied me. “Have you told Ery you’re worried there’s a connection between Colin’s death and the harassment?”

My stomach lurched. “No. I … uh … I fucked up again. Just like with Colin.” I explained about my need to be public with my affection for Eredine after weeks of having to keep our relationship hidden. “It was so fucking caveman of me. I wasn’t thinking about anything else but what I wanted. And I should have known better. I put us out there.”

Thane scowled. “Wait a minute … Does Eredine not have a part to play in this? Is she not a grown woman who knew exactly what she was doing kissing you in public?”

“It’s not the same.”

“I’m pretty sure she’d feel like it was,” Lachlan said, raising an eyebrow. “Or were you not present when she gave me that speech?”

Renewed guilt flickered through me. “I … I broke things off with her today.”

The mood in the room changed swiftly, and I could feel my brothers’ combined anger.

---