As we finally break through the invisible border to the east side of Northridge Heights, the main canal runs parallel beside us on the road. Suddenly, it clicks. I look to the key and see the line etched into its metal. It’s meant to symbolize the canal’s shape. Jagged and man-made. A small clue that only my dad would think of.
I chuckle at his memory and grip my chest. When I lost him, it hurt. I had never felt such pain in my entire life. Of course I’ve missed him, but now, losing Teddy, I miss him more. I so badly want to run into his arms and sob into his chest about how I loved a man and he was taken from me, but it just simply is not possible.
I bite my lip and push the thoughts away. My dad didn’t raise me to be soft; he raised me to be strong, and right now, that’s what I need to be, what I need to exude.
I take a shallow breath and release it as Carl slows to a stop in front of the storage buildings. A broken yellow sign hangs from its corner reading Boat Storage and More. The name doesn’t fit considering there are no large bodies of water in Arizona, not in our part anyway. The small units all seem abandoned, with rust crawling up the sliding doors and broken padlocks lying on the ground, collecting dust at the entrance of almost everyone. Grass fights its way through the cracks in the concrete as literal tumbleweeds blow over the paths.
Carl opens the door, allowing me to step out. This is definitely not what I expected, but most things these days come out of left field. I never expected getting tangled up with the Mafia, I never expected Teddy, and I most definitely didn’t expect to fall in love with him. More thoughts assault my mind, just like every day, and my throat burns, threatening to finally let out all the screams I only let escape in my room. It seems no matter what I do, the thought of Teddy is always there.
Carl hands me back the paper so I can see the number for the unit we need. Two-three-five-one stares back at me when I look to it. I move my eyes back to the units and look above them. On thin, peeling stickers, black numbers sit above each starting with two-four-zero-zero. I move down the small path with units on either side of me until I hit the number we’re looking for.
An oval padlock with a shiny silver chain is the only thing standing between me and whatever my dad felt the need to hide here, but when I move my hand to unlock it, it hovers and shakes violently. Do I really want to see what’s in here? Am I ready to finally have the truth? So many questions pound inside my head, and I don’t have the answers.
Lucas comes behind me and covers my hand with his. Going through all the motions for me, he inserts the key and turns it, opening the lock and letting the chain fall.
“Flower?”
I can hear him, but my mouth won’t answer. This is all I’ve been wanting, and now that I have it, I don’t even know what to do. For over half a year I’ve searched for answers to avenge my dad, answers I thought were hidden deep inside his mind and buried with him.
“Look for me,” I whisper.
I had the image of my dad being perfect, but after meeting Teddy, I learned he wasn’t who I thought. What if I go inside the unit and there are no answers for his murder and only skeletons he wanted to stay hidden? I don’t want my perfect painting of him to be distorted and morph into something I don’t recognize.
Lucas nods almost like he understands the thoughts rolling through my mind. He pulls up the rolling door, letting it clatter until it’s finally open. I squeeze my eyes tight and turn around.
Julius comes in front of me and pulls my body to his front, petting my hair as Lucas rummages through whatever is inside.
“Charlie, you need to see this.” The disbelief in his voice is evident.
Julius’s body stiffens beneath me. I turn and look to see Lucas standing in the middle of the unit surrounded by carboard boxes labeled Evidence. The box in front of him is open, and stray papers linger on the floor and the tops of surrounding boxes. He’s holding a folder in his hand that I recognize all too well. It’s a police report.
I walk to him, thankful nothing terrible was hidden in here. He flips the page as I stop and shows it to me. Circled in red marker is Lieutenant Snyder’s face with bold red letters beside it reading “he knows.”
I take the file from Lucas and flip through it myself. Notes about what he does in his free time, his badge number, and his address are all listed, but nothing of major importance. I set the file down and open another box. Inside is the same file on Lieutenant Snyder.
“No, this isn’t right,” I say out loud.
I open box after box, finding the same exact file with the same information until I make it to the last one in the corner. I tear open the top and grab the top file. Inside, there are pictures of another man. All of them are more like surveillance pictures with nothing up close, but it’s still easy to make out his face. It’s the same man I saw with Cameron at the bank.
I dig through the rest of the box and find the same exact file, but nothing that will tell me where to find him. I shake my head and stuff the file in my bag along with one of the others on Cameron.
“Let’s go.” I don’t leave any room for questions.
The twins follow me after putting the chain and lock back in place.
Once we are back in the car, I direct Carl to the police station. If Cameron knows something, I’m going to figure it out tonight.
I drown out the pleas from Lucas as Carl pulls up to the station.
“Charlie, you can’t just waltz in there.”
Once the car is in park, I unhook my seat belt and turn to him. “I can, and I will.”
I move to open the door and slide out, but he stops me, gripping my shoulder. “No. I won’t let you do this. I’m supposed to protect you.”
His words strike a nerve with me. I rip out of his hold and inch toward his face. “Protect me?” I laugh. “What, like you were supposed to protect Teddy?”
He stares at me with cold eyes as his nostrils flare. “You can’t keep putting the blame on me for that night.” Julius tries to grab his arm, but he jerks away.
I shake my head with a smile. “Fuck you, Lucas. I don’t even know why you care what I do.”
He lets his head fall back with a wicked growl. “Do you not get it!” he screams, bringing his face back to mine. “Because you mean something to him, you mean everything to me.”
His face falls as soon as the words leave his mouth, and my heart stops. “What did you say?”
He tries to brush the entire conversation off like it was nothing, but I heard him clear as day. He leans back in his seat. “Just do whatever you want, Charlie. I don’t fucking care anymore.”
I shake my head and pull my seat belt back around me. “Take us home, Carl.”
His eyes widen as he tilts his head and sucks in a breath. “Yes, ma’am.”