Page 21 of Quintessentially

Mom laughs. “Well, Joyce has a way of getting straight to the point.”

“I’m going to bed.”

Dad asks, “Big win tonight. No celebrating at Decoy Ducks?”

“I didn’t really feel like it. Justin is there and the team is excited. I wouldn’t expect him home until late.”

Dad reaches for my hand. “I made some calls. The work you want to do over the store…” He shrugs. “…materials are pricey these days, but Lynell has a crew that can work off-hours for a reasonable charge.”

I’m afraid to make plans.

What if…?

“Chloe said Mick would help too,” I say.

“Mick might be able to get better prices on material.”

I nod at Dad as he squeezes my hand.

“You deserve this,” he says.

I feign a smile. “You two are just trying to get rid of us.”

“Never,” Mom answers. “Now, Justin…”

We all smile.

“Good night.”

The screen door squeaks as I open and gently close it. Walking beyond the steps and front rooms, I make my way back to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Instead of going to the front stairs and hearing whatever my parents are saying about Dax, I tiptoe up the back staircase, coming first to Molly’s room. Her door is slightly ajar.

The light from the narrow hallway spills onto her bed.

I step inside.

This was my childhood room.

I redecorated before she was born, adding a baby bed and an array of colors. For the first two years of her life, I too stayed in this room, sleeping on the twin bed where she now sleeps. When she was ready for a big bed, I took the fourth bedroom. Mom had always called it the guestroom despite few overnight visitors.

My heart melts as I take in her tiny features. No longer a baby, Molly is a miniature adult. Every day she surprises me with something new. I love that life is an adventure for her and that she’s loved.

The lump is back in my throat.

Molly has a mommy, grandma, grandpa, and uncle who love her unconditionally. She also had a great-grandmother who adored her. There was no way or reason to hide the truth from Ruth. After losing John, she was thrilled to see her family grow.

I had only one stipulation.

Molly’s father wasn’t to be informed.

Tears come to my cheeks as I kneel beside Molly’s bed and listen to her little breaths as she hugs her Elmo. My thoughts go back to the morning Dax and I woke in the hayloft.

The sky above the opening was blue. My body was tender in the best of ways. All through the night we’d reached for one another.

At one point he’d told me that he loved me, and I’d been honest, telling him that I’d never loved anyone else. That morning, we made love for the final time. When we finally pulled ourselves away, Dax’s phone broke our bubble.

He had numerous messages from his parents.

Although he didn’t read them all to me, I fully understood the gist.

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