Page 18 of Never Gone

My chest warmed.

Instead of answering, I covered his mouth with mine and poured everything I had felt for him, into that kiss.

Atlas pulled me into his arms and rose to his feet. Carrying me over to the couch, he placed me on it, and only then did he break the kiss. He leaned a hand on the back of the couch and brushed his other down my cheek. “We really going to do this?”

“Yeah. I think we are.” I smiled up at him for reassurance. I was nervous. Terrified even. But I knew that with Atlas at my side, anything was possible. Even though he had moved years ago, he was never truly gone. I realized that now. He had been with me this whole time, guiding me, supporting me. The only thing I wished was that he had kept in contact, but I would take this. I would take it and run.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, brushing his mouth along the shell of my ear.

“How we’re going to do this. I have to admit though. I’m scared.” I looked up at him then, getting lost in the dark eyes that had invaded my dreams since I was a kid.

“I know, baby.” He kissed my nose. “I’m scared too but our love is strong. I guess it took seven years of me being gone for me to realize that. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Marley.”

“Hey.” I turned toward him. “No more sorries. You hear me? I’m willing to do this if you are. We’ll figure it out. Right? That’s what you told me.”

“I know.” He looked down at our joined hands in my lap.

“Spend the night with me. We’ll go to your grandfather’s funeral tomorrow and we’ll figure out everything else after. We’ll take this one day at a time, but I promise, Atlas. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I, Marley.” He pulled me into his arms and cradled me against him. “Neither am I.”

Atlas

With Marley’s hand inmine, I realized that I could conquer anything. It was funny in a way. I was ready to walk away. Not completely but long enough to give Marley some time. But I was not a patient man and went to her place instead. I had gotten the address from Ricki after throwing a couple hundred dollar bills his way. He never wanted to give me her address, but I had convinced him that it was an emergency, which it was, and he finally caved.

Marley squeezed my hand.

I looked down at her.

She gave me a soft smile.

My heart jumped.

Taking a deep breath, I looked ahead as the priest said a few more words about my grandfather and how much of a good man he was but that he was finally now with his wife, my grandmother. A half an hour later, the casket lowered into the ground. My dad had been an only child, so he went up to the casket and threw a bouquet of roses into the grave. He walked up to me, clapped my shoulder and stood beside me while he waited for me to do the same.

I didn’t know my grandfather well and I blamed my father for that. It seemed, I blamed him for a lot of things anymore.

I took the single red rose between my fingers and tossed it into the grave.

I’m sorry that I didn’t know you.

Too much time had been lost where I didn’t know those I loved, and I refused to let that continue to happen. I didn’t know my grandfather because I had moved. I didn’t know Marley because my dad had taken me away as a kid, but I came back. Seven years later but I still came back.

After the burial, Marley and I walked hand in hand to my rental car. I needed to head back to the city the next day. I didn’t want to. We had spent the previous night together cuddling and watching movies until we passed out on the couch and was almost late for the funeral.

I wanted that. I wanted more of that. Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. For the next fifty years. I wanted to go to sleep in her arms and wake up next to her just the same. I needed more but I also knew that I couldn’t pressure her. Maybe a long-distance relationship would do us good. I wished we would have done it as kids, but communication wasn’t as easy then as it is now with social media being what is these days and all.

“Atlas?” Marley stepped in front of me, keeping her one hand in mine and placing the other on my chest. “You okay?”

“I’m just thinking how I have to leave tomorrow and head back to the city.” I had also spent the better part of the night wondering how hard it would be to set up an office in town, so I wouldn’t have to leave Marley. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think we’ve talked enough?”

I chuckled. “Never, baby.” I pinched her chin, placing a soft peck on her mouth. “I want to talk to you forever.”

A breathless laugh escaped her. “Good.”

“But I do need to run an idea by you.” I hooked an arm around her shoulders and opened the passenger door for her. “I’m not sure if you’ll go for it but you might. Because you love me and all.”

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