Page 14 of With You

I sighed, wrapping myself around him. “No, thank you and, Shade, that was fucking hot.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, it was.” He laid me down, went to the bathroom, and came back a moment later with a cloth. When he finished cleaning me up, he came back toward the bed. “I think when you fuck my ass, that’ll be even hotter.”

I shivered at the thought. “God, I’ve never been with a man who’s into that.”

Shade laid down beside me, running his fingers lightly over the faint stretch marks on my lower abdomen. It had been something he did quite often. At first, I was self-conscious of them, because I had already struggled with my weight since I was a little girl. But when he told me that he liked how the marks reminded him that I carried his son, I wore those marks proudly.

“Remember who you married, Meadow.” A faraway look passed over Shade’s face.

My chest tightened, knowing he was thinking about Sunny. While they never got very far in their physical relationship, I knew that if Sunny were still alive, they would have gone all the way.

Sitting up, I slid under the blankets and pulled them up and over us. “Can I ask you a question without you getting mad at me?”

Shade stiffened beside me. “Okay.”

I took a deep breath, not meeting his gaze and stared up at the ceiling. “Am I enough for you? I mean, I know you’re into men and women, Shade.” I looked at him then. “Is me being a woman, enough?”

His jaw clenched; his eyes unmoving from mine. “You are more than enough,” he finally said. “And I’m not into men and women. I’m into you, Meadow. Yes, I was with one guy before Sunny but that didn’t turn out well. After that, Sunny was the only other man I had ever been attracted to, but he was different. Sure, I’ll admit when a guy is hot as fuck, and I do consider myself bi-sexual, but there hasn’t been anyone else that I’ve wanted. It’s why I never approached you about it. Sunny was my best friend. He was my life. And then you came along and gave us both that shove we needed to tell each other how we felt. Do I wish we could have gone further before he died? Of course. But did I want to do it without you? No. Not at all. Sure, we messed around a bit when you weren’t there, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted you. I wanted you there. Watching. Getting turned on. Touching yourself. Telling us what to do and how to do it. He was always the dominant one. I could be dominant on my own, but it didn’t feel right. So I stopped sleeping with women by myself and just had threesomes with him.”

“Are you sure? I mean, we can get another guy—”

“No.” He shook his head, sitting up.

I did the same, cupping his shoulder. “Baby, I mean it. If you want to find another guy that we can...” I couldn’t even say the words. I didn’t judge anyone who had open relationships and had threesomes and so on but the idea of Shade touching someone else, even if it was in front of me, when that person could no longer be Sunny, made me want to throw up. But I would do it for him. As long as he was happy, that was all I cared about.

Shade slowly turned his head, his dark eyes meeting mine. “You would really do that for me? If it was what I wanted. You would subject yourself to the pain of watching me with someone else. Them touching me, kissing me.” He swallowed noisily. “Fucking me.”

My stomach twisted. “If it’s what you want,” I whispered, looking away.

“This is why I love you so fucking much,” he murmured, wrapping his arm around my middle and pushing his face into the crook of my neck. “But I don’t want that. I’m happy with you. Just you. I don’t know how else to prove this to you.”

A lump suddenly formed in my throat. “I just don’t want you to leave me.”

He sighed, pulling away from me and ran a hand through his hair. “I think I know what’s bringing this on.”

I stared at him. “You do?”

“It’s because Andrew isn’t...”

My eyes welled. “Shade, he’s yours and he’s Sunny’s. You are his father and he’s going to know that Sunny was his father as well.” I cupped his cheek. “And our future babies will be both of yours as well.”

Shade blew out a slow breath, leaning his forehead against mine. “I adore you, Little Lamb.”

“I adore you too, Baby Boy,” I whispered.

We laid back down in bed with Shade’s hand on my stomach and his semi-erect cock resting against my hip.

I turned my head toward him. “I thought we were going to go all night.”

“The conversation got heavy.” His hand dipped lower. “I didn’t want to take advantage.”

I scoffed. “Take advantage, Shade. I’m your wife and your dirty little slut.” I pushed him onto his back. “So you should fuck me like one.”

A wicked grin spread on his face. “Then ride my cock and take control, baby.”

For the next couple of hours, I did. I took control and soaked up his submission as we spent the rest of the night proving to each other how enough we were.

Shade

---