Page 7 of With You

My chest tightened, my throat working over a hard lump. “I know. Me too. Maybe we need counseling or something.”

Shade scowled, pushing from the bed. In all his naked glory, I couldn’t help but watch the way the muscles of his ass flexed every time he moved.

“Stop staring, Little Lamb,” he grumbled, heading to the bathroom. The sound of the shower starting, pulled a sob from me.

“Fuck.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I let out slow breaths, but it didn’t ease the anxiety rushing through me. Agony sat on my body like an added weight. It was suffocating the way it took hold and made it so I couldn’t breathe.

“Meadow.”

I jumped.

Shade was standing by the bed, his eyes dark.

Rising to my knees, I shuffled toward him.

He reached for me, pulling me into his arms and letting out a shuddered breath. “I know, baby. I know.”

“I just miss him,” I cried. “I miss him so much.”

“I miss him too,” Shade said, pushing his face into the crook of my neck. His body wracked with silent cries.

My heart shattered. For him. For us. For the love we had with Sunny and for the pain of losing him far too soon.

“I love you,” I whispered, not wanting Shade to think any differently.

“I love you too.” He cupped my face, placing a soft peck on my lips. “Never doubt that.”

“Don’t you doubt it either,” I reminded him.

“Why would you think that?” he asked, staring at me.

“Why wouldyouthink it, Shade? For the exact same reason.”

He pushed away from me, the air around me suddenly becoming cold.

“Don’t.” I jumped from the bed and went up to him before he could close himself off from me. “We’re both hurting but I know you’re hurting more. You knew him longer than I did but I want you to let me in, so I can help you heal.”

“I don’t need help.”

When he went to walk away from me, I stepped in front of him. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything, Meadow,” he bit out. He went to push past me and that time, I let him. I didn’t want to fight with him. Not anymore. We did the same dance every time the anniversary of Sunny’s death came around. Whenever the actual day came, we barely spoke to each other. It needed to change. I knew that. It wasn’t healthy to fall into ourselves. We should mourn as a couple, but Shade was so damn stubborn, I didn’t know how to get through to him without having it end up in a fight.

Maybe that was what we needed. Maybe we needed to fight. To yell. To scream. To fucking break. And then we could help each other put the pieces back together again.

As much as I wanted to demand more from my husband tonight, I would wait. I didn’t want to do it when Andrew was home. We didn’t need any interruptions. I also needed for Shade and I to focus solely on each other. It may have been selfish of us, but we couldn’t give our son what he needed if we couldn’t help ourselves either.

While Shade took a shower, I laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I was vaguely aware of the water turning off a moment later, only for the bed to dip beside me shortly after.

The scent of body wash wafted into my nose. It smelled of spice, a bonfire, and a tinge of a forest. Mixed with Shade’s natural scent, it was delicious.

“I’m sorry for fighting, baby,” he whispered, laying down beside me and wrapping his arm around me.

I looked at him then. “You think that was fighting, Shade? You haven’t seen anything yet.” I rolled onto my side, away from him but not before I caught the dark look of lust in his eyes. I smirked to myself, mentally patting my own back.

“You threatening me, little girl?” he asked, pulling me closer to his hard body.

“Nope.” I grabbed his hand, pushing his arm off of me. “I’m promising.”

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