“I’m not interested.”
“Suit yourself.” Colsontoucheshisshoulder, my whole body going feral at the sight, then walks out.
As soon as he’s gone, Gray’s stiff posture collapses. He reaches past our wine glasses and grabs my wrist. “Jonah, it’s alright. I’m not going anywhere. I have a case here. I have you.”
I stand up, my body moving before I can think. “I’m going to hit the restroom. Will you order us the biggest, most chocolate-y dessert they have? Bonus points if it has the word lava in the name, double bonus points for ice cream.”
When Gray’s distracted by the dessert menu, I detour toward the front door, half-running and nearly falling down the wide front steps in the dark as I scan the wet, glistening sidewalks. A silver Porsche way down the street flashes its lights, and I run after the figure opening the driver’s door. “Hey!”
Colson turns around, watching me stop in front of him and pant out big, freezing clouds of breath. I left my jacket inside, and I’m already starting to shiver. “If you’re here to piss on your territory like a puppy,” he says, “rest assured that I’m not interested.”
I study his strange eyes, his perfect curls. “Tell me about this job.”
He snorts. “You can’t even be out of school yet.”
“Not for me, you imbecile.” I got that word from one of Gray's books. He'd be proud of me. “For him. You said it was perfect for him.”
He goes still, something almost like respect in his eyes. “It’s a firm that provides legal services for people in dire straits, cases nowhere else will take. They allow all their lawyers freedom and latitude, but provide a strong support structure so he wouldn’t have to work alone all the time. They’re new, so he’d be helping build the place from the ground up.”
“Oh.” My mind is racing and stuck in one place at the same time.
He offers me a crooked smirk, leaning against the Porsche. “He hasn’t changed, has he? He insists on fighting alone against monstrous odds, then lets it tear him to pieces while everyone else moves on unscathed. And I’ll tell you right now that he’s not going to win the Oliver Shaw case.”
I hold out my hand. “Give me the paperwork.”
Opening his car door, he leans in and pulls out a navy blue folder. “I wouldn’t have thought dating an actual child would be his smartest relationship.”
Now I just smile. “Dude, I am already so much cheaper than your fucking cheapest shot could ever go.”
I don’t want to look at or touch or think about that folder, but I take it when he offers it to me. He doesn’t let go of the other end until I meet his eyes. “I’m going to give you a piece of advice it took me over three years to learn. You can tell yourself I’m just a petty, jealous ex, but deep down you already know it’s true.”
I could let go of the folder and walk away. I could probably rip the folder out of his hand and walk away. But I just stand there.
“Gray’s work is his soul. It always has been and it always will be. You can try to share, take the pieces he gives you, but I promise you his soul will never belong to you.” Finally, he lets go. “Good luck.”
As he drives away, I take the papers out of the folder, origami them in half, and slide them into my suit jacket. On my way back to the restaurant, I dunk the folder in the nearest trash can, then wait in the foyer until my skin isn’t cold anymore before heading back to the table.
“Everything alright?” Gray asks. He’s trying to hide the unease in his eyes, already wondering if he did the right thing.
Him and me both.
Our future is like that cat in the box. Or maybe it’s not in the box. You don’t know until you open the box, but if you do, then all the other possibilities disappear and you’re stuck with whatever you find. Eventually, we’re going to have to open the box and find out if we’re strong enough for whatever’s inside.