Page 57 of Make Me Fall (Water, Air, Earth, Fire 2)

Jonah

When I open my eyes, Gray is sitting naked on the edge of his mattress, studying me as drips of water from his shower run down his back. “Hey there,” I croak.

“Hi.” He reaches out and touches the side of my face. Like neither of us wants to be the first one to stop pretending.

“Ready for your big day?”

He pulls a face. “You make it sound like I’m starting kindergarten.”

“Awww,” I roll over and prop my chin on my hand. “I can take a picture of you in your outfit by the front door. And I’ll make you a lunchbox, some hotdogs cut like little octopi.”

Shaking his head at my shit-eating grin, he stands up and digs through his dresser for some underwear. “That sounds like something you made up just to torture me.”

“I was thinking last night.” I sit up and hide my face in my knees, so he can’t see me getting all awkward. “I thought it might be a good idea to try coming out to Elliott and Sophie. For practice.”

He finishes pulling on his boxers and comes over, squeezing the back of my neck and pressing his lips to my hair. I don’t know why he loves doing that so much; I wash my hair with some Axe knockoff shampoo-conditioner-body-wash combo with a scent likeRock On. He must enjoy whateverRock Onsmells like. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

As I watch his gorgeous body disappear underneath a shirt and slacks, I remember that I’m not his boyfriend and I can’t just stay in his bed once he’s gone, so I pull on the same t-shirt and jeans I had on last night. Setting my phone on the kitchen counter, I type a message to Elliott.

Me: Do you and Soph want to get lunch today?

Then I just sit there, staring at the sparkly countertop, trying not to throw up at the thought.

Gray’s hand lands on my back. “I’m going. Stay as long as you want, and just leave your key under the mat.”

I nod, turning around and drinking him in. His suit today is perfection, all black from head to toe and cut like a dream. “I’ll get the rest of my things from downstairs before I go. Good luck today. You’re going to wreck them.”

The corner of his mouth turns up vaguely. “It’s just opening statements.”

“Well, you’ll wreck those.”

“Thank you.” It’s gloomy in the apartment, the blinds still down and the kitchen skylight buried in a layer of snow. My stump is itchy and achy this morning, which almost never happens. “Goodbye, then. Please text me where you end up, that you’re alright.”

“I will.”

“And maybe we can get dinner sometime and you can tell me about coming out? I wish you all the luck in the world.” He holds out his hand.

“For sure.” I go for a firm, aggressive shake, then yowl in pain when he absolutely crushes my fingers. “Watch it. I don’t have a backup.”

“Then don’t try to beat me at that game.” He gives me one of his rare proper smiles, the charming, wide grin, like a parting gift. At the front door, he turns around one more time. “Jonah? I’m proud of you.”

It’s a good thing he shuts the door, because I wouldn’t have wanted him to hear the strangled sound that comes out of my mouth.

Good. Perfect. I believe in you. I’m proud of you.

Now that he’s said that, I can’t back out of telling Elliott and Sophie.

Maybe he knew.

Maybe he did it on purpose.

Jerk.

“Here’s your Coke, sir.”

“Thanks.” The waiter watches me pick up the cold glass covered in condensation and press it to my forehead. Rolling it across my hot skin makes me feel slightly less nauseous. He already thinks I’m crazy, a one-armed dude sitting alone in a cafe booth, vibrating with nerves and constantly GooglingOliver Shaw, as if court cases live-tweet their progress.

The bell over the door rings and Elliott and Sophie bustle in, laughing and shoving each other. All the times I didn’t realize I’d missed them in the past few weeks hit me at once in a wave that crushes my chest. I barely even apologized to them for leaving.

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