Page 10 of Curves for the Crass (Rejected 8)

“What? What happened?” I can tell by the tone of her voice that Mercedes is freaking out, but right now, I’m freaking out too.

“The condom broke,” I say in an unbelieving tone.

“What?” she screeches.

“The condom broke,” I say, looking up at her and meeting her panicked eyes. The emotions leave my body when I see her freaking out, and I smile reassuringly at her.

“Oh my god. What are we going to do? I’m not on birth control. Fuck, Canaan. What are we going to do?” I see the tears flood her eyes, and my heart rips in two. I go to her, pulling her into my arms.

“Baby, we will figure it out. I promise. I won't let you down, I swear. It might not be the right time anyway. You might not get pregnant, Mercedes, but if you do, I swear to you I will love you and our baby more than anything on this planet. I will protect you both with every cell in my body. I swear we will figure this out together.” I tell her, bringing her forehead to mine. Mercedes takes a deep breath, and it takes another minute for her to get control of her emotions, but when she does, she looks me right in the eyes.

“Together.” She nods, then gives me a tiny smile. I stand there holding her for a few more minutes before I pull away.

“I should really get you home. I’d hate to get you grounded and not be able to see you anymore.” I smile when she chuckles.

“That wouldn’t stop me. Nothing would stop me… but you are right. It’s late, and I should get home even if I’m eighteen, solegallyan adult.” She gives me another peck on the lips before we get dressed and straighten up the nurse's office.

We walk out of the school at the same time as Juju and Brody, but I just wave at them as they hop on Brody’s bike and take off. The rest of the bikes are gone, so we are the only ones left. I walk Mercedes to her car, giving her a quick kiss before opening her door and making sure she’s buckled in. Once she’s settled, I climb onto my bike and follow her as she pulls out of the parking lot. I tail her until she pulls into her driveway. I park across the street, and she blows me a kiss as she unlocks her front door and walks in. I take one more minute to stare after her before I kick start my bike and head home. Nothing can take the smile off my face today. It has to be the best day of my whole life. That's not really hard to beat, but whatever.

I pull up to my trailer, excited to tell my mom. Even if she doesn’t remember the conversation. Even if she is high as a fucking kite. Even if she just rolls her eyes or gives me that lazy, unfocused smile. My mom hasn’t been the best since my dad left. She got depressed and took it out on the bottle… then her addiction worsened, but she was still absent, not abusive like my brother's parents have been. I could care less; I just want to share this joy with someone. I’m whistling as I climb the steps and turn the nob.

What I wasn’t expecting was for my world to be rocked. For the only parent who did not abandon me to be laying on the floor, eyes blank as they stare straight at me, needle still in her arm… gone.

Chapter Seven

Mercedes

One Week Later:

“The service was beautiful, Canaan,” Rissa says as we walk out of the tiny outdated church.

“The service was shit,” Canaan bites back. I look at him in surprise. He hasn’t spoken in three days. Only nods and grunts in answer, but now it seems he’s ready to snap.

“Watch it,” Dean growls right back.

“What? What the fuck do you have to say to me? That service was trash, that tiny fucking church is trash, this whole fucking town is trash,” Canaan yells, yanking away from me and running both hands through his long, dirty blonde hair.

“Motherfucker,” Dean says, starting after him.

“No, no. It’s fine, Dean. That is how he is dealing with his grief. One form of grief is anger. Just let him work this out for himself,” Rissa says in a very stiff and no-nonsense tone. I love how she can cut you down and put you back into perspective without being mean about it. She's stern without seeming bossy. It's a true talent. We watch as Canaan walks over to an old wooden bench, sits, and puts his head down in his head.

“I want to go over there. I want to help him, but you guys’ve known him longer. I don’t want to push my way into your life. I don’t want to overstep, but this is killing me,” I tell the group as tears run down my face.

“Mercedes, look at me,” Alec says, putting his finger under my chin and lifting it. “You are the most important person in his life now. You will be his number one, his rock, his comfort, his soul mate, his whole world. Your place is at his side, and our place is at his back. We will always have BOTH of your backs.”

The group behind him smiles. Bailey is crying but nods and gives me a brilliant smile before Alec turns me toward Canaan and gently pushes me his way. I walk slowly up and nearly break when I see Canaan’s shoulders shaking in silent tears. I sit down next to him and grab onto his shoulders. Immediately, he folds over onto my lap and lets me hold him as he cries. We sit there for two hours, silently looking out at the park in front of us. I turn and look back at the church to see the whole group still standing there, waiting for us.

“I didn’t mean to snap. I just don’t know what to do. Where do I go from here? I have nothing left.” He seems so defeated, like he wants to fold in on himself, like he’s giving up. Fuck if I’m going to let that happen.

“Look at me.”

He doesn’t.

“Look at me, Canaan,” I say with more force. When he does, I continue.

“You are not alone. You have so much to live for, baby. You have me. All of me, no matter when, no matter what, and if that’s not enough, look behind you.” When he does, all the guys and girls turn and smile at him. “You have all of them. All of us, forever. No matter what. We will never, ever, leave you, baby.”

When he smiles, the hope for him and our future blossoms again. Then something behind me catches his eyes, and his smile drops. I turn and look to see a man stumbling out of a car and looking around, trying to straighten a coffee-stained tie over a mustard-stained shirt.

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