Page 43 of Game On

“Nate, this is too much for me to wrap my head around.” She hadn’t even begun to process her next steps from the fire. Even if she didn’t rebuild the business, she would need to clean up the property and ensure the buildings were safe.

“Keely, please.” There was an urgency in his voice, a pleading in his dark eyes that made her heart flip. “It tore me up last time we broke up, and I don’t think it’s going out on a limb to say it hurt you a whole lot, too. Maybe we should fight harder to make this work when we’re so good together.”

She knew he had a point. But why did she have to make hard decisions in a hurry? “I lost everything today. How can I think about leaving when—?”

“Not everything.” He stroked his hands down her upper arms. “You still have me. Us.”

She felt jittery, like everything was spiraling out of control. “I don’t though. I only have you if I go to Chicago and lead your life on your terms.”

The words tumbled out before she could think, but felt like a truth that had been building in the deepest of her fears.

He must have recognized the truth in the words because he didn’t dispute them. His touch slid away from her shoulders.

Of all the things that had been taken from her today, the loss of his hands on her just then might have been the most devastating. From somewhere deep inside her, she willed the strength to articulate what still bothered her.

“It’s your dream, and I don’t begrudge you chasing it.” She spoke slowly, needing to be clear about why she didn’t see his suggestion as a real plan for the future. “But I’ve worked hard to build something here, and I’m not sure I can turn my back on that now. I’ve spent too much of my life bending what I want for the sake of someone else. Maybe it’s time I put some of my focus and energy on what’s best for me.”

“Even with your father undermining everything you try to do here?” There was a bitterness in his voice that she couldn’t miss.

That he viewed her that way—through the lens of her father’s problems—reminded her that he didn’t know her as well as she’d thought. Even his mom had recognized her need to carve out something of her own. Too bad that realization didn’t make the loss of what she’d shared with Nate any less painful.

“I will succeed in spite of the obstacles.” In that moment, all the counseling sessions she’d sat through about finding an individual sense of self-worth fell into place. “Whether or not I rebuild Windy Meadows, I will have something that’s my own, Nate.”

“Without even a discussion? Without even considering how we might make it work when I’m in Chicago?”

The reminder that he’d be on the other side of the country only underscored that Nate Ramsey wouldn’t be the one to bend.

“Maybe being apart will be easier. For both of us.”

Nate’s eyes closed for a moment. When he opened them again, his face was expressionless. Unreadable.

“Stay here for the night.” His voice was devoid of all emotion, like his face. Frozen. He reached for a set of keys in a basket on the kitchen counter. “Try and get some sleep. I’ll make sure your vehicle is here for you in the morning.”

Disappointment redoubled. That he wouldn’t even argue with her shouldn’t surprise her. But she’d genuinely thought she meant more to him than just someone to accommodate his life on the road.

“Where are you going?” She knew she’d given up the right to ask, but she didn’t want to stay in Nate’s apartment by herself.

Then again, she wouldn’t get any sleep tonight no matter where she was. Her heart was breaking.

“I’m making it easier. On both of us.” He parroted back the words she’d used, clutching his keys in a white-knuckled grip. “Good night, Keely.”

Leaving the apartment, he closed the door quietly behind him. But the echo reverberated through her as surely as if he’d slammed it, emptiness yawning until the tears started to come.

*

Keely met withthe fire inspector and her insurance agent at the farmhouse the next day in an attempt to sort through the damage. Her coverage might be enough to rebuild, but it wouldn’t make up for the profits she wouldn’t receive on the sunflowers. Although she’d harvested some of them the morning before the fire broke out, she’d stored them in the building that had collapsed.

She could hire a team to clear the debris quickly and possibly the flowers would be unharmed inside the storage area. But the cost of that would be more than what the flowers were worth.

The hospital had phoned and wanted to keep her father one more night to adjust his medicines. Alexis had volunteered to spend the day with him, convinced she could make him agree to more counseling sessions to help him through whatever had driven him to try rebuilding a still. Which was just as well because Keely couldn’t bear that burden now. Not when she was still reeling from how his reckless endangerment had affected her, himself, and her livelihood. Once her request for legal guardianship was approved, she would talk to his doctor about getting more care. She hadn’t been ready to send him into assisted living, but now she could see the benefits for all sides.

Right now, though, even with problems surging at her from all sides, what hurt the most was losing Nate.

A car door slammed out front while she paced circles in the kitchen, a cup of tea clutched between her hands. She’d felt cold all day despite the oppressive heat on the first day of August. Glancing out the window, she saw Alexis’s car.

“Keely.” Her sister called her name as soon as she stepped inside.

“In here.” Keely set down the pen on top of the paperwork for her insurance claim that included extensive details about the crops that had burned. “How’s Dad?”

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