“Ian,” I pull away from him and look him in the face. “I… I… I’m proud of the man you’re becoming.” The tears are trying to surface. I want to tell him that I love him, but I don’t have the strength to say those words. Will I ever be able to say them to him? They used to slip from my lips with ease, but now they don’t come easy. “I… there’s so much…” he interrupts me.
“You just keep thinking about what you want to say and do to me when I get back. Make a list. Stay here. Sleep in my bed and surround yourself with my scent. I expect you to be completely moved in by the time I get back. And yes, I’m coming home safe to you.” He kisses me one last time, then leaves.
Watching him walk away, my emotions are mixed; pride, love, fear… it’s all there.
Chapter thirty-two
I Reject You
**October 2001**
Kate
It’sbeenthreeweekssince I forgave Ian, and so far, everything has been great. No more chest pains at all. I stayed in the territory, because of my job at the day care. Two of the other workers are on extended maternity leave and if I left, they would be short staffed. I don’t want the pups to suffer. Ian comes home every Friday and leaves early on Monday morning. It may not be the ideal situation, but we are making it work. We also talk on the phone multiple times a day.
After finishing my shift at the day care I walk to the gym, like I do every day. I’m excited because it’s finally Friday and Ian should be home in a few hours. Walking into the gym, I see my dad. It looks like he is finishing up and is leaving.
“Hey dad.” Stepping on my tippy toes, I give him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Someone is in a good mood.” He smiles, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“Yes, Ian should be home soon. I wanted to get my workout done, then head home and cook his favorite din…” a sudden pain hits my chest, dropping me to my knees.Oh Goddess, no, not again.
“Whoa,” my dad kneels next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Not again.” I hold my chest and slowly breathe in and out. The pain is intense, the most I have ever felt, with emotions. With shaking hands, I grab my phone and call Ian. After three rings, it goes to voicemail. I hang up and try again… three rings, then voicemail. Desperate to get through to him, I try a third time. I need to remind him what we have. This time, the call goes straight to voicemail.
“What’s going on?” I hear Alpha Nathaniel ask.
“Ian… I’m going to kill that motherfucker with my bare hands.” My dad growls.
“Charlie, get your son on the phone.” Alpha Nathaniel snaps.
“I’m trying. It just keeps going to voicemail.” After a brief pause, “Ian, it’s your father. Call me immediately.” I hear Beta Charlie say.
I have been having crippling chest pains daily for the past week. Ian is refusing to take mine or anyone else’s calls. Zane and Kelsey claim that he’s not at the townhouse, but I don’t believe them at all. They’re used to covering for Ian. I called Rebeka and found out she left to go back home on Thursday of last week; her sister gave birth to her first pup. This really can’t be happening again; we were making such good progress.
‘Kate, we can’t keep living like this. This is slowly killing us.’Sasha cries. She and I both have cried every day.
‘What do we do?’I close my eyes so I can see her.
‘Reject him,’Sasha replies.
‘That could kill us.’I state.
‘This is killing us, slowly and painfully. If we reject him and it kills us, it will be fast. We can’t keep living like this. This hurts so bad.’Sasha cries and I just want to hold her.
‘How? Wait until he decides to come home?’I question.
‘We go to the townhouse and reject him there.’She demands, her cries turn to anger.
‘Then what?’Anything, including death, would be better than this.
‘Start over somewhere else… like New York. We’ve always wanted to go there.’I think for a minute and can’t come up with one reason I shouldn’t. Ian can’t do whatever he pleases and expect me to be waiting for him here.
I tell my parents my plan to reject Ian and move to New York, explaining that I can transfer to the university there and plan on studying art. My parents, who are sticklers about not rejecting your fated mate, have no objection to my plan. They don’t blame me for wanting to move on and find happiness.
It took a few days to finalize my plan. I found an efficiency apartment in New York City and transferred to the university. Now all I have to do is execute the plan. Sasha has been giving me pep talks daily and reminding me I’m not a backup plan and I deserve better.