Page 60 of Overcoming the Beta

“Why doesn’t the European royal palace do anything?” I nuzzle my nose into the crook of his neck, smelling his intoxicating fresh scent, helping to calm my nerves.

“Politics,” he laughs. “It’s like our royal palace trying to take us on. We outnumber them, three to one, and our warriors are some of the best trained around. They might defeat us, but there would be a mighty cost to them. I know you have some trust issues. You can go. I will put you up at the royal palace until the fighting is done.” He wraps his arms around me.

“No… no matter where I am, I will just be a distraction. I’m learning to trust you again.” I hold him tight.

That is the truth. I want to trust him to the fullest. Since he has reentered my life, he hasn’t given me a reason to distrust him. I’m also learning how to tell the difference between his emotions and mine. Had I had a handle on that three years ago, I would have realized that the guilt I was feeling was from him and not me. Like earlier today, I felt a pain hit my chest, followed by sadness, and I knew exactly who it was from. The pain in my chest today differed from the infidelity pains I felt years ago. Today, I knew something was deeply troubling him and that I needed to be there for him.

I’ve also learned the difference between guilt and remorse. Guilt is knowing that you’ve done something wrong and feeling bad about it. Whereas remorse is the deep regret for doing wrong. I can see through Ian’s actions that he knows that he hurt me to my bones, shaking my very existence. He can’t change the past or take away the pain I experienced, so he’s been on a path of correcting his mistakes and righting his wrongs. This is why I don’t need to go or babysit him twenty-four-seven.

“There’s one more thing,” he sighs out.

“Okay, I’m listening.” I feel like he just needs to pull the band aid off quickly, because the way my head is spinning, I don’t know how much more I can take.

“Our fathers seem to think that Prince Lazar has his eyes on you and is hoping that I’m killed.” Ian says the last part quick. I’m not too sure how to process this bit of news. The future king wants my mate dead so he can claim me as his own.

“This is a lot,” I whisper.

“I know. It is for me, too. The last part really isn’t relevant, but I wanted you to hear it from me. I promised there would be no secrets between us.” He lifts my chin up to his face, “and I meant it.” He gives me a soft and gentle kiss that is full of emotion. I hold him tight, getting lost in our kiss. He breaks the kiss with a groan. “Zane wants to get a training session this afternoon, and you have to get ready for our big date tonight.” He flashes me the million-dollar smile that I have loved since I was fourteen.

“I think we should wait until you get back. Maybe we should just stay in instead.” I sigh out, because after hearing everything he had to say, I’m not really in the going out mood.

“No way. I’ve been looking forward to a giant steak all day, and I made your brother practice my salsa moves with me this morning.” He rests his forehead on mine.

“Did you really?” I laugh, thinking about my brother dancing. Kelsey has zero rhythm like our dad.

“I think we need to enjoy life even more now.” He kisses my forehead as a tear escapes my eye.

Chapter thirty

Promise

**September 2001**

Kate

I’minmybedand haven’t seen Ian in a week. I spend my days sitting in my room, staring at the wall. My heart feels like it’s shattered in a million pieces as I try to comprehend what has been going on all these months. I’m not too sure when the last time I ate or slept was. I’ve cried so many tears that I have none left. As hard as I try, I can’t wrap my head around why Ian would cheat on me. He did it right under my nose. What does Nikki have that I don’t? Why am I not good enough for him? The more I think about it, the more my heart breaks. I’m just a shell of the person I was before.

My parents are worried about my health, so I decide today is the day that I make some sort of effort towards moving forward. Pushing myself to do it for them. I take a shower; the hot water feels amazing on my skin. Almost like I’m washing the past off me. After my shower, I blow dry my hair but put it in a bun on top of my head. I still don’t have the energy to do my hair or makeup. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, my skin is dull and I have dark black circles under my eyes. Then I see his mark and my heart breaks all over again. I push forward, throwing on jeans and a tee-shirt. I head downstairs to the kitchen, where my parents are eating breakfast.

My parents are sitting at the table reading the newspaper and eating. I walk past them without saying a word and head for the coffee. Since that fateful night at the palace, I have not spoken a word. I sit at the table and quietly sip my coffee. My mom gets up from the table, but quickly returns with a plate of eggs, sausage, and toast. She sets the plate in front of me, then rubs my back before returning to her seat. My parents don’t say a word, but I can feel their love for me. They know I need time to heal and they accommodate that.

I haven’t seen or heard from Ian in fourteen days. My brother has called twice, but I don’t answer. I haven’t had the pains in my chest since the night at the palace. I’m sure he’s figured out a way to cheat, so I don’t feel the pains. My mom tells me that Nikki’s parents removed her from the college that Ian attends and sent her to a college south of our territory. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about her. Is it her fault he cheated? I know she played a role in it, especially since she knew he was a mated man, but in the end, he should have been the one to resist.

I’ve become accustomed to my new normal and have started a job at the pack day care. Although I don’t have to work, I need something to keep my mind occupied. I love working with the pups. This might be the closest I get to motherhood, since I have no desire to let my mate touch me, much less have pups with him. After my early morning shift at the day care, I head to the gym and try to kill my emotions with cardio. After running two miles on the treadmill, I walk to the lap pool in the back of the gym.

Walking down the long corridor to the lap pool, someone puts their hand around my mouth and pushes me into a storage room. He locks the door behind us and holds my body tight against his.

“Promise me you won’t scream angel and I’ll let you go.” Ian’s voice is just above a whisper and his delicious scent fills my nose. I feel the tears build up in my eyes. My mind races as it’s flooded with confused emotions. I nod my head, promising I won’t scream. He removes his hand from my mouth and wraps both arms around me, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck and inhaling deeply. “Oh angel, I have missed you so much.” My body goes limp in his arms, and I cry. “Please don’t cry, just say we can start over… please.”

“You hurt me.” I say through tears.

“I know, and I feel bad that you got hurt.” He continues holding me tight in his arms.

“I need to know the truth.” I wiggle from his grip, turning to face him.

“Anything. I’ve wanted to come clean for months.” Ian hangs his head.

“Are there more women than just Nikki?” I wipe the tears from my face. He simply nods. “How many?”

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