Page 200 of Devil's Bargain

“Yes!” he laughs, singing along to the lyrics in his deep voice.

My mouth hangs open.

“You don’t remember the lyrics?” he asks, breaking into the chorus.

“Who do you take me for? Of course, I remember the lyrics!” Then to prove my point, I sing along with him, feeling a smile tug on my lips. “I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back!”

He winks, singing the next line. “I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.”

God, I love how his jaw moves while he sings the lyrics at full belt. For a bulky footballer, he’s got a surprisingly good voice.

When the song ends, we fall silent. There’s a new tension between us as if unspoken words hover in the air, waiting for a tongue to slip from.

And they do slip.

“That’s my biggest regret,” he whispers, and our eyes clash briefly before he focuses back on the road. “Not keeping you safe that night.”

My heart hurts. “You couldn’t have changed the outcome.”

“Yeah, I could have! I could have stopped him from leaving with you!”

“Rick,” I whisper, but he hits the steering wheel, making me jump in my seat.

“Fuck, I’m sorry!” He looks devastated. I don’t know what he’s apologizing for. Hitting the wheel or not stopping his father that night? Perhaps both? Is that why he’s here dragging up old wounds? To apologize?

“He held a gun to my head! He’d already tried to kill me once that night, and he would’ve blown my brains out if you’d stopped us. I’m alive todaybecauseyou and the others let us leave!”

I know it. I saw his eyes that night in the car. The sickness that poured out of him.

Rick wrings the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. “God… I can’t think about it. Every time I do… Fuck!”

I press my lips together and stare at my trembling hands in my lap. That night left us all scarred.

“It hurt when you left!” I whisper before I can stop myself. The silence is pressing in. “You just walked out…” Blood pours from my chest like a burst dam. I’m bleeding out inside his car. Metaphorically, of course. In reality, I stare at the passing houses outside while he grips the wheel as if he wants to pull it off and throw it out.

“I shouldn’t have walked away!”

Another house. Another driveway. “You did what you had to do. We all did!”

“I lost you because of it!”

My eyes blur with tears. “I pushed you away before then. The truth is, your dad... It was a river neither of us could cross.”

We drive in silence, my words hanging in the air. I fight the urge to breathe him in but in the end, I inhale deeply through my nose. It brings me right back to memories of lying in his arms.

He parks up next to the one-story house that I share with Nina. It’s nothing fancy. It’s small and needs some serious TLC, but the walls inside are embedded with our girly laughter from too many nights drinking cheap wine and watching bad movies.

He exits the car and returns with my wheelchair. When it’s unfolded, I lift myself into it, then wheel to the front door.

“You knew where I lived?”

He suppresses a smile as we make our way up the short driveway. “I asked around.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him why. But I don’t. Digging inside my purse, I pull out my keys and unlock the front door.

He follows me inside, sweeping his eyes over the photographs on the walls. Nina loves to capture a smile.

“Do you want something to drink?” I ask him when we enter the kitchen. It’s strange seeing him here in my space after all this time. He makes the place feel small with his big frame and hazel eyes.

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