“Where is he?” I question, sweeping my eyes around the clearing. He’s nowhere to be seen.
“Shit,” Dallas breathes, clawing her hair. She scans her eyes over the tree line.
Josh hooks his thumb toward the trees behind him. “He went that way.”
“Ben?” I shout as I get up and run towards the edge of the clearing, praying he’s close by. The trees swallow me up. I duck beneath a branch, then pause, listening.
“Please talk to me,” I plead, walking deeper into the woods.
Silence greets me.
The moonlight’s silvery hue guides my steps over sticks and stones and past low-hanging branches, but the darkness is still pressing in.
I hug my arms around me, shivering, not from cold but from nerves. “I love the photographs, Ben. I look at them every night when I’m in bed. The one you gave me today made me laugh. Dognald Trump. Did you google it?” Sticks crunch beneath my feet as I walk further and further into the dark night. “I’ve been thinking about it, Ben. We should get three dogs. That way, we can name one each.”
What am I saying? Why can’t I shut up or come up with something less juvenile? My cheeks are wet with tears as I continue talking to myself, hoping he’s listening somewhere nearby.
“You were right, Ben. I ran like a coward. I hurt you. I know you probably don’t believe me when I tell you this, but I’m done running. No more, Ben. I know you’re scared. I’m fucking terrified too.” I chuckle miserably.
“Movies make love out to be this amazing, simple thing, but the reality of it is that I’ve never been more scared in my entire life. You do that to me, Ben. You terrify me. The thought of falling even deeper in love only to lose you scares me more than I can possibly put into words. It wasn’t fair of me to hurt you because of it, but I thought I made the right decision.” I throw my arms out wide, shouting brokenly. “I thought I did the right thing, okay?”
It sounds lame even to my own ears, but it’s the truth. My chest aches. I screwed everything up.
Leaves crunch behind me.
I swivel on the spot.
Ben puts his hands in his pockets, a haunted look in his eyes. “I can’t go through it again, Em,” he whispers.
A sob breaks free at the deep timbre of his voice.
He averts his gaze. “I want to let you back in. I want it more than anything, but I don’t trust you not to hurt me again.”
Pain sears through my chest. He’s right. The only assurance I can give him is my word, and it’s not enough to heal the damage I caused.
We watch each other in silence as laughter filters through the trees. I don’t know how to mend this broken bridge between us.
“Ben, I—”
My phone pings, cutting through the silence. It’s a new message from Jamie.
Jamie: You need to listen to the audio from the night they spray-painted my car.
((video attachment))
My phone pings with another text, this time from Hailey.
Hailey: Don’t watch it! It doesn’t matter anymore. It will only hurt you.
My fingers hover over the screen. I lift my gaze and look at Ben warily. Whatever is in the video will break my heart. I know it will. Why else would Jamie send it to me?
I consider Hailey’s text. Does what’s on the CCTV footage not matter? I want to know the truth, no matter how painful. If my friends know, then I need to know too.
With my mind made up, I open Jamie’s video attachment before I have a chance to second guess my decision.
Dallas’ voice filters into the quiet night.
“How about we play a little game?”