Page 112 of Counter Bet

He smiles at me, then dips his chin, eyes trained on his combat boots. “Just think about it, yeah?”

“Okay,” I whisper so quietly I don’t think he can hear me, but his head snaps up.

He looks at me through his dark lashes.

“I’ll be there.”

His answering smile takes my breath away. He pulls me to him, swaying us side to side.

I laugh and wrap my arms around him. I don’t know how long we stand there in each other’s arms, but we eventually break apart and begin tidying up our supplies. When we’re done, Matt walks over to the door, glancing over his shoulder.

“See you later, princess.”

My heart hammers wildly in my chest.

What will Ben and Dallas say if I show up? Is it even the right thing to do?

* * *

The school is empty this late in the afternoon except for a few teachers working late. My car is the only one left in the parking lot.

I strap myself in, flick down the visor, and take in my tired face. I haven’t slept well these last few weeks, and it shows in the dark circles under my eyes.

I’m in the middle of reapplying my lipstick when something on the windscreen catches my eye. I flick the visor back in place and step out of the car. Held in place by the windscreen wipers is a photograph flickering in the afternoon breeze.

My heart begins to race as I lean over the hood and stare at the photograph of Ben and Dallas smiling faces. There’s me, squished in the middle with an unbelievably big smile on my face.

“Dallas,” Steph shouts, waving her camera in the air. “Do you want in on this picture or not?”

Ben nips my neck with his teeth, causing me to giggle.

Dallas climbs back down the apple tree in Nina’s garden, abandoning her mission to grab one of the ripe apples hanging just out of reach. “I’m sorry, princess,” she says, handing me a much smaller apple.

Ben snatches it out of her hand, taking a large bite before I have a chance to reach for it. He winks, pulling me into his side.

Steph grins behind the lens. “You ready?”

Dallas snakes her arm around my waist.

“Say cheese, fuckers!”

I carefully remove the picture. On the back, in Ben’s scrawled handwriting, it reads,“How about Dognald Trump or Queen Elizabark?”

Laughter bubbles up inside me. I’m crying and laughing at the same time. I wipe away the wetness from my cheeks, but for the first time in weeks, it’s happy tears. Ben remembers the day at the beach when we joked about silly dog names.

I get back in the car and place the photograph on the dash. I unlock my phone, scrolling through to Dallas messages.

Dallas: This will be my last message. I hope you read it one day. I’m letting you go, Em. I can’t fight anymore when I’m greeted by silence. I have so many good memories from our time together. I hope you will look back one day with fondness and know that you changed something inside me. You gave me hope.

The message was sent over a week ago. I blink, seeing but unseeing, placing the phone down with trembling hands.

What have I done? I pushed away the people that I cared about the most.

Why?

Because I was scared.

I grip the steering wheel with both hands and press my forehead against it.

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