Page 152 of Counter Bet

I tear my gaze away from his stormy eyes and stare down at the pictures. My vision blurs with tears.

The car rocks when he exits the vehicle and slams the door shut behind him.

I stare after him with a lump in my throat before throwing open the passenger door and chasing after him, tripping over the uneven ground. “Ben!” I shout.

He whirls on me. “Why?”

The pain in his voice stops me in my tracks.

He laughs bitterly and throws his arms wide. “Why can’t you let me go? I was finally getting over you, but then you started this shit!” He points to the photographs in my hands. “And now I’m back at square one. I want you, and I fucking hate myself for being so weak!”

He might as well have speared me with a sword. Tears are running down my cheeks unhindered as I stare at him.

I throw the photographs at him.

Our memories flutter to the ground like confetti.

“Don’t worry, Ben. I won’t fucking bother you again!” I spit.

He laughs darkly and shakes his head. “See, there you go running again. It’s what you do! At the first sign of trouble or things not going your way, you run away. It’s why I can’t let myself get pulled back in.”

“I was hurt, Ben. You hurt me! What did you expect would happen?”

He closes the distance between us, forcing me to take a step back or topple backward. “I expected you to fucking stay and fight, but no, you ran back into Rick’s arms the first chance you got.”

“I’m here now.”

“Are you?” he asks and dips his head down so that I’m forced to meet his unrelenting gaze. “Or were you about to run off again because I told you it makes me fucking angry that I still want you?”

I don’t answer.

He scoffs, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it? It’s fucking ugly, princess!” He puts his hands in his pockets and stares down at his scuffed vans. The cruel smile from before is gone. He looks defeated. “I thought I had moved on. It still hurts at times, but at least I wasn’t thinking about you all the fucking time. And then I saw you again… I knew it would happen sooner or later, but nothing could’ve prepared me for it. It felt like a fucking gunshot to the chest. I hate that I still want you. I can’t let you have the power to hurt me again.”

I release a shaky breath and swipe at my cheeks. “I won’t hurt you this time, Ben. I know I’m asking you to trust me again, but…” I trail off. My shoulders slump, and I drag in a slow breath. I’ve already lost him. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his words.

“I want to, but I don’t know how to get past this anger,” he whispers, slapping a hand to his chest.

Nothing I say will change his mind or make him trust me. We’re past words.

I take a chance with my heart and move the straps off my shoulders, slowly pulling them down the tops of my arms until my dress pools around my feet. My bare skin prickles from the chill in the autumn air. I stand before him, surrounded by yellow corn, in my lace panties, fighting the urge to hug my arms around my naked chest.What am I doing?

“What are you doing?” he asks carefully. The fear in his voice squeezes my heart in a vice. I hate that I put it there.

“Let’s not talk anymore.” I trail my fingers over the curve of my breast and circle my peaked nipple as heat pools between my thighs.

He gulps, balling his hands by his sides.

“Touch me, Ben,” I whisper, tracing my fingertips over my collarbone, along my jaw, and over my sensitive lips.

My heartbeat is pounding in my ears.

He breaks out of his stupor and grabs me. His mouth comes down on mine, and he groans deep in his chest as he clutches me to him. It’s not gentle.

I gasp. He takes it as an invitation to deepen the kiss, plunging his tongue against mine. His warm hands are on my ass now, and he lifts me off the ground and carefully lowers me down until I’m lying surrounded by our photographs. I stroke my hands through his silky hair and moan into his mouth as he continues kissing me like a man lost in the desert who stumbled upon a pool of cool water. His warm hands roam everywhere, exploring and squeezing.

“Fuck,” he breathes, diving down for another kiss. “I missed you so much! God, Emily. You’re everything!”

My heart soars. I snatch up his bottom lip between my teeth and let go. “I need you, Ben!”