Page 109 of Counter Bet

Her cheeks are wet with tears.

I feel a pang of regret before reminding myself that we’re in this situation because of her. She won’t reply to my texts, and she doesn’t acknowledge me at school, so what the fuck am I supposed to do?

“What do you want from me?” I ask, leaning down.

She’s forced to meet my gaze.

“I get that you’re scared. I’m scared too, but this? You’re making us all lose. You’re running away because it’s the easy way out. So who’s not fighting, Em? You! That’s who!”

I walk away. I can’t look at her or the tears trailing down her cheeks. How did it come to this? Why did I ever let myself fall for her?

* * *

Emily.

“My mom is going to kill me!”

Hailey giggles next to me. One of her piggy tails has come loose. “It’s slime. It will fall down soon.”

I look away from the yellow slime on my ceiling. “Or it will stay there forever.”

Hailey tightens her piggy tail, but it’s askew. One is much higher than the other. “Maybe your mom won’t notice?”

I look at her skeptically. “You think?”

Plop.

We stare at the slime on the floor between our bare feet.

“Told you it would fall down.”

I stare at the stain on the ceiling, my stomach twisting uncomfortably. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I thought I did the right thing by ending things with Ben and Dallas before we fall even deeper, but I’m not sure anymore? And that poor girl in the parking lot? I can’t believe I beat her up because I was jealous. I don’t like this version of myself.

I drag my hands down my face and sigh heavily. Why did I follow Ben and that girl to his car? I wish I could unsee his face scrunched up in pleasure. And the girl’s lips, smeared with lipstick, wrapped around his dick.

Jealousy is slowly eating me up inside. I feel terrible for what I did to Samantha. I’ve never hurt anyone before, but my vision turned red when I saw her bob on his dick. Ben is correct, though. I have no right to feel betrayed. I made my bed on this uncomfortable mattress, and now I have to lie on the hard springs.

My phone pings on my nightstand.

I haven’t left the group chat. I can’t bring myself to do it, and they haven’t removed me.

Josh: I’ve scored some good quality weed. The lake, anyone?

Steph: I’m with Dallas at the skatepark. Maybe in an hour?

Josh: Benny boy? You in?

Matty: I’ll be there.

Ben: *thumbs up emoji*

Nina: I can’t. I’m giving private lessons to the chess-geek if you know what I mean ;)

Josh: April, are u coming? Nina, go easy on the poor fucker.

April: Josh, babe, when am I not in? I’ll be there.

Matty: I’ll bring the alcohol.

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