Page 33 of Spare Me (Summersweet Island 6)

Ryan:Well, now I’m going to send you a strongly worded email as well.

Danny:Do we have any Pop-Tarts left, or did you eat the last one this morning?

Ryan:Yes. In my panties.

Danny:Well, well, Ryan. And here I thought you were more of a boxer-briefs guy. Bikini cut or thong?

Ryan:PANTRY! For the love of God, pantry. This is why I hate texting. I would never accidentally say the Pop-Tarts are in my panties if this was a phone call.

Danny:So you say.

Ryan:This is all your fault for calling my phone stupid the other day. My phone heard you, and now it’s taking out its revenge on me.

Ryan:Is Giovanni’s good for dinner tonight? I’m almost done with this bowling match on the mainland, so I thought I’d just bring home some pizza on the way back.

Danny:Are you planning on obtaining this pizza the same way as last time?

Ryan:I thought we agreed to never speak of that again?

Danny:I never agreed to such nonsense.

Ryan:Well, that would be a no, since you won’t be there with me.

Ryan:I mean, no one will be there with me, not just you, so it won’t happen again.

Ryan:I mean, it’s not like YOU have to be there for that to happen again.

Ryan:It would probably be weird if that happened with another random stranger at a pizza place, but it’s not like it could NEVER happen.

Ryan:How about tacos? Tacos sound good. I’ll just bring home tacos.

Danny:Sal told Cynthia about Harold going to the strip club! He is losing his mind!

Ryan:NO! You promised not to listen to the scanner without me!

Danny:It’s your fault for being late coming home.

Ryan:I had a parent-teacher conference! I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover from this type of betrayal.

Danny:It’s not like we can rewind this thing and listen to what we missed! I’m doing you a favor. How else would you know that Harold found out when Sal told him to respond to a noise complaint at Harold’s own home? Because Cynthia was screaming and tossing dishes.

Ryan:OMG, tell me everything!

Danny:I thought you were in the middle of a parent-teacher conference?

Ryan:Eh, the kid has a C. It’s not like he’s failing.

Danny:Look at you, walking on the wild side! Okay, brace yourself, because there’s glitter involved.

Ryan:Glitter really does ruin everything, not just Christmas newsletters.

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