Page 88 of Fate's Dice

Despite knowing that Brian, the family killer clown, knew before us, I can’t help but be happy. This baby will be surrounded by love and fierce protectors. People he or she can depend on without a doubt. Sure, there will be sleepless nights, difficult moments of stress and worry that I’m not doing something right, but with Leo beside me, I know we’ll be just fine.

When fate rolls her dice, we have to take the good with the bad, hold on to the joy even in our moments of sadness. Take the time to remember the light when our days have darkness.

It’s easy to give up when the die lands on snake eyes. It’s simple to fold when life gets heavy, but when the light of day seems so far away and everything seems bleak, fighting back is what we have to do. Running in circles is not an option.

So that’s what we’ll do. We’ll fight through the weight of bullshit and we’ll do it together.

“We got this,” I say into the darkness.

“I never doubted it,” Leo says back.

I smile at that. Knowing Leo, he probably never had a moment of fear or apprehension. How the fuck did I end up with him? How did I get so blessed to find a guy who checks off everything on my perfect man list?

Okay, so I never had a list, but if I did, Leo would not only check off everything, but he’d add more I hadn’t known existed.

“You’ll be meeting your brother tomorrow,” Leo says sleepily.

“What?! Tomorrow as in today or tomorrow as in tomorrow tomorrow?”

I wonder if he even understood my convoluted question.

Leo chuckles and rolls over, wrapping his strong arm around me, “Today you are mine. We’re going to celebrate the baby and tomorrow we’ll celebrate a brother and sister meeting.”

He kisses me softly before making me turn so he can pull my back to his chest, “For now, we sleep.”

I don’t think I can sleep now. I have so many questions, but I know he’s tired.

I lay there as my mind becomes turbulent with what ifs and doubts. After an hour of conflicting thoughts, Leo’s deep and even breaths lull me to sleep.

A few hours later, I wake before Leo. Remembering that he said I’d have him for the entire day, I decide to let him sleep so I can make him a good breakfast.

I enter the restroom and take care of business before lifting the pregnancy tests. Still positive.

I laugh at myself, wanting reassurances that I’m still pregnant. I wonder if every new mother does that. I can’t even count how many times I rechecked last night before falling asleep.

On my tip toes, I slip from the restroom and make my way to the kitchen. No one is here, Joann and my mother decided to take their all-night drinking game to Letty’s place when I got too sleepy watching them drink like college students.

I’ve never met anyone who could outdrink my mom. Once I thought she was drinking watered down liquor just to fuck with me, but after a generous chug, I knew I was wrong.

Joann, however, is tied with Raquel. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not alcoholics by any means but when they party, those bitches can party.

I can only imagine the kind of trouble those two got into back in the day.

I still haven’t told my mom about the baby. With her trying to play shot poker, I didn’t think it would be the best time.

I get everything set up for the dish I want to make, Chiaquiles. Normally, it would take hours to slow cook the chicken but luckily, I already had some made.

I turn on some music, I begin my task of making Leo a traditional breakfast. I sing along with Postmalone while I cut the tortillas as the oil heats in one pan with peppers, onion, and diced tomatoes cook in another.

I toss the triangle tortillas into the oil and turn the heat down while I crack open eggs and mix them in a bowl.

I used to love watching my mother cook when I was little. I know there’s a fraction of people who think a woman cooking is domestic and demeaning but to me, they couldn’t be more wrong.

There’s empowerment in a woman commanding a kitchen, creating tasteful and delicious dishes that bring everyone, no matter their differences, to the table.

A queen in her domain.

A woman creating batches of soul food using her mind and hands.

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