Page 76 of Nothing Less Than Everything

TATUM

“You told her you’d think about it?” I stifled the urge to shake Wren silly. “Baby, that’s fucking amazing! Why didn’t you say yes? You taking that job would solve all our problems.”

The dumpling that Wren was about to take a bite out of fell from her chopsticks. It dive-bombed into the dish of soy sauce, splattering dark liquid across the kitchen island.

She reared back. “I’m sorry this has been such a problem for you.”

It was Week 4. Things were a little tense because, apart from a few stolen moments in passing, we hadn’t really been able to see each other.

Practice had let out a few hours ago. I ran home, took a quick nap, and showered before Wren finished rehearsing at the stadium’s studio. As much as I liked hanging out at her place, Wren made it known that she was going to start thinking that I didn’t like the way she had redone my apartment if we didn’t spend the night there at least once.

I wasn’t exactly disagreeing. Her place was cozy and comfortable, but my bed was a hell of a lot better. I lured her over after a late practice with promises of takeout and sex.

Sighing, I said, “Baby, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Wren glared at me over a white paper box filled with cashew chicken. “It would mean I have to leave the Reds, and I… I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

I chewed slowly, allowing myself time to choose my words wisely. “You said that Colette wouldn’t need you in New York until after the season’s over. You’d get to finish this season.”

Wren set her chopsticks aside and slid off the black lacquered bar stool she had picked out for the kitchen. “I just don’t know that—” she froze, hands braced on the edge of the cool stone countertop. “What if it’s not what I want?” The corner of her mouth quivered, but she held it together.

“Wren, baby…” I wiped my mouth before circling around to pull her in my arms. She was stiff as a board, clinging to the island as if it was keeping her from floating away. “You’re managing too many puzzle pieces. Some fit the life that you’re trying to build for yourself, and some don’t. You need to figure out which ones make something whole, and let the rest go.” I stood behind her, resting my hands beside hers and caging her in. Tipping my head to the side, I bent down and kissed her temple. “I wasn’t trying to make that decision for you.”

A lone tear slipped down her cheek.

Gently, I put my hands on her hips and turned her to face me. Wren discreetly swiped it away, but I caught her wrist in my hand. I unfurled her fingers and drew them to my lips, tenderly kissing each one, tasting her salt on my tongue.

“What do you need?” I murmured into her hair. “Do you want to talk it out or do you just want me to listen?”

She crashed into my chest, trading her strength for trust. Trust that I’d catch her. “I don’t know.” She let out a blustering breath and rested her forehead on my chest. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being a buzz kill. This isn’t what you asked me over here for. This was supposed to be late dinner and sex and—”

“Stop,” I clipped. “You and I may have started out as a hookup, but you know damn well that’s not the case anymore. Don’t insult me by pretending that this isn’t real. It’s fucking real, Wren. So, if you’re having a bad day and need me to rub your feet while you talk, then let’s sit on the couch and get at it. I’m not just another meathead athlete who’s hoping to get up your skirt.”

“We don’t wear skirts,” she muttered into my t-shirt. “They’re shorts. Well, hot pants. And you’re the only athlete who’s ever hit on me.” She tipped her chin up. “Apparently, the others are better at following the rules than you are.”

I pinched her ass. She wasn’t getting out of this talk. “What do you need from me?”

She didn’t answer.

“Little Bird,” I growled, slowly rocking back and forth. “You trust me enough to risk your spot on the Reds and sneak around with me.” I tried to choke down the hurt in my voice. “Why can’t you trust me with whatever’s going on in your head?”

“We don’t get a lot of time together, Tay.” Her shoulders dropped in despair. “I don’t want to ruin it.”

“The only thing that will ruin it is if you don’t let me have every piece of you. I’ve promised you that I’m all in—that I’ll give you all of me and not a shred less.” I tightened my arms around her, flexing my biceps. “Whatever it is, I’m strong enough to take it. And I want to, so let me.”

“I didn’t see our situation as a problem,” she admitted quietly, throwing my words from earlier back at me. “I just thought it was more of an inconvenience.”

I closed my eyes, trying to push down my frustration. “I shouldn’t have said it was a problem, Wren. But yeah—it’s an inconvenience. A really fucking big one. Not just because I don’t want us to get caught and I don’t get all the time I want with you, but because I want you. I want to be able to point at you after I score a touchdown and kiss you fucking senseless after a game. I want to see you in the stands, sitting with my buddies’ girls. I want to be able to walk down the fucking street with you and hold your hand. I want to take you to events and have everyone there know that we’re together. I want all of it, Wren!” I was shouting, completely unaware that I’d raised my voice. My chest and shoulders heaved under the pressure.

“I want that, too!” she cried. “I’m tired of living under a microscope! I want to be able to go on a real date! I want to spend the night with you and have lazy mornings, not one of us sneaking out before the tabloid scum crawl out from their foxholes.”

“Then start small,” I said, gripping her arms and staring into pools of sapphire fraught with turmoil. I stroked her cheek, my thumb caressing her velvet skin. “Tell me what’s bothering you. Tell me about your day. Tell me everything. We’ll figure out the big shit later, but if you can’t tell me more than little anecdotes, then there’s no reason to figure out the big stuff.” I pressed my lips to her forehead, breathing hard. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want her to think I was pushing her away.

I grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting and wrapping her legs around my waist. Part of the renovations that she did included all new furniture. There was a deep sectional positioned in front of the new-to-me fireplace. The stone façade she added around the electric fireplace added texture and age to the otherwise modern design. I plunked down on the couch and stretched out, pulling her onto my chest. “Talk to me. Tell me why you’re hesitant about the job offer.”

She settled in beside me, tracing shapes with her finger on my chest. Wren sighed. “What if I’m unhappy doing something I’m good at?”

My brows knitted together. She was unhappy? From what I saw, she was running on fumes all the damn time, but it was because she preferred it that way. Wren was happy when she was busy. I was the same way. The off-season drove me crazy. While my buddies were happy to have time to themselves and time with their families, I was living in the gym and itching to get back on the field.

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