Page 6 of If I Could

“I’m doing it now.” I push the button and go in the house. “Why are you being so paranoid?”

“Because I don’t like the fact that some strange guy is just walking down the road not heading anywhere.”

“He’s heading somewhere. We just don’t know where.”

“There’s nothing out that way but farm fields and a few houses, one of which is yours. What if he shows up there?”

“Then I’ll tell him to go away. He made it clear he didn’t want my help.” I set my purse on the kitchen counter and open the fridge. “Damn. I forgot to stop at the store. I have nothing for dinner.”

“Let’s go out.”

“I don’t feel like it. I think I’m just going to stay in.” I shut the fridge and go in the living room to sit down.

The house I’m staying at belongs to my mom’s friend, Lorraine Driscoll. She’s a realtor and sold us our house years ago. It was the house I grew up in and I loved it. Last winter my dad convinced my mom to sell the house and invest the profits with him, which she did. She moved into a rental house that was a lot smaller and not as nice. After a few months, she was tired of renting and told my dad she wanted her money back to buy a new house. A few days later he disappeared. So he not only took her money. He also took her house.

Around that same time, Lorraine’s aunt died and left her this house. It’s in a small town, about an hour from Kansas City. She offered to let my mom and me stay here for free until we figured out what to do next. We took her up on the offer and decided to live here for the summer, but just as we were about to move, my mom got a call from a friend of hers in New York who knew about her situation and offered her an opportunity she couldn’t pass up.

My mom is a high school art teacher, but when she was younger, she was an up-and-coming artist. She was selling her paintings and starting to become known. A gallery owner in New York told her she had real potential and that if she moved there, he would introduce her to the right people who could further her career. But she turned him down because by then, she was married and pregnant with me. She wanted me to grow up in a house with a yard, not a high rise condo in Manhattan.

She gave up her dream, so when her friend called, offering to let her create some pieces for her gallery, I told her to go. She has the summer off from teaching so now is a great time to do this, and hopefully it’ll get her mind off what my dad did to us. Plus, she’s staying for free with her friend and if she sells a painting or two, she could get a lot of money. Her friend’s gallery caters to the super rich who are always looking for the next great artist.

She was reluctant to leave me here for the summer but I convinced her I’d be fine. But then I actually moved here and found out some of the families in town had invested with my dad. Turns out, he’d been selling his fake investments to people in small farm towns throughout the state. He’s originally from a small town so he used that to his advantage, telling people he was no different than them, which is why they could trust him.

Now I’m paying for what he did. Living in a town where people hate me because my dad stole from them. My mom doesn’t know that. If I told her, she’d worry and move back here in her mom-driven need to protect me, even though I’m an adult who is fully capable of handling all the rude comments and dirty looks.

When my mom asks about the town, I tell her the people here are nice and that I’ve made friends. At least the friends part is true, even though it’s only one.

“C’mon, Sage. It’s my night off and I’m bored. And when I’m bored I smoke. You’ll be supporting my health if you agree to go out with me.”

“Nice try.” I yawn, tired from a day of filing invoices. Jesse is the worst when it comes to keeping track of stuff. He has no idea which customers have paid and which haven’t, or what bills are due and when. He just fixes cars. If it weren’t for Helen, the old lady bookkeeper who works there, and me, who replaced the receptionist who quit when she had her baby last spring, Kenny’s Garage would be out of business by the time Kenny gets back. Kenny has the business brains, his sons don’t.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nina asks.

“It means there’s a good chance you’ll smoke even if we go out. You’re just using the boredom excuse to get me to go out tonight.”

“Is it working?”

I take a moment to consider it. Going out would be better than being here. This house is really depressing. It still has all the stuff from Lorraine’s elderly Aunt Mabel, including the furniture, which she must’ve bought when she moved in sixty years ago. The upholstery is covered in layers of dust that can’t be vacuumed away, making the whole house smell dusty and old. Or maybe it’s death I’m smelling. Mabel died on the couch, which is why I never sit on it. Instead I sit on one of the chairs but both are tearing apart at the seams and have sunken seat cushions. At least the TV is fairly new but I can’t afford cable so there isn’t much to watch.

“Okay, I’ll go,” I tell Nina. “I’m tired but I don’t want to be here right now. This place is depressing.”

“Hell, yeah, it is. The old lady died there. I don’t know how you sleep there. If Butthead ever moves out, you can come live with me.”

Butthead is her younger brother. He’s 19 but acts more like 13. He’s a busboy at one of the restaurants in town and keeps telling Nina he’s getting his own place, but then he never does.

“I have a feeling Jeremy’s going to live with you forever.”

“Then I’m moving out and he’ll have to find another roommate.”

“So where do you want to go?”

“Skeeter’s. It’s two for one night.”

“I’m not really up for drinking tonight.” Truthfully, I could use a drink but I don’t have money for drinks. Every dime I make has to go for essentials, like food, or into my college fund.

“It’s two for one burgers. The drinks are regular price.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll meet you there. I just need to take a quick shower.”

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