Page 38 of If I Could

“Don’t sit there!”

He looks at the couch, then back at me. “Why not?”

“She died on there.”

“Who?”

“Mabel. The old lady who used to live here. She died on the couch.”

“Then why do you still have it?”

“Because I can’t afford a new one. But I’m never sitting on that thing and neither are you.” I shoo him away. “Stand back. You shouldn’t even be near it.”

“Why?” He chuckles. “Is it going to kill me too?”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t take any chances.”

He gives me a half-smile. “You’re funny, you know that?”

“I was being serious. You can’t sit on a couch where someone died.”

He steps up to me and runs his hand down my cheek.

I look up at him. “What are you doing?”

His eyes are on my face, studying it.

“God, you’re beautiful.”

I don’t respond. Honestly, I’m too shocked to respond. Yesterday he acted like he hated me and now he’s being really nice. Maybe he’s just acting this way because he wants sex. If so, I’d be up for that. I’m completely turned on and it’s been over a year since I’ve done it.

“Sage.” He pauses, his eyes fixed on mine. “I didn’t plan on kissing you. I told myself I needed to stay away from you and I was right.”

“Why? I don’t understand.”

“From the moment I saw you, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I don’t know if it’s your kindness or your persistence or the fact that you’re so damn beautiful…maybe it’s all of that. All I know is that I felt something for you from the instant I saw you.” He looks down and shakes his head. “But I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t do this. I can’t…be with you. Not that you would want that. I mean, obviously you kissed me but I’m sure that was—”

“I wanted to.” I put my hand on his chest and he looks up. “I wanted to kiss you. And I’m just as confused as you are. I know I shouldn’t get involved with you knowing you won’t be here long, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, which doesn’t make sense because up until today, you’ve been really rude to me.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I’ve just…” He tightens his jaw and swallows. “I’ve got a lot going on. I’m not at a point right now where I can be in a relationship, so when you kept trying to help me, I had to tell you to go. I’m sorry it came out so harshly but that was the only way I could get you to leave.”

“So you’re saying you don’t want this.”

“I do, but I don’t want to get involved with you and then have to leave you. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

“Meaning you just want to be friends.”

“I don’t even know if I can dothat. As you saw just now, I have trouble being just friends with you. I promised myself I wouldn’t kiss you tonight and I’m barely here five minutes and already broke my promise.”

“Is that a bad thing? Kissing me?”

“Yeah. It is, because it’ll lead to more. It probably would have if you hadn’t freaked out about the couch.”

He’s being so honest, so open, that I keep quiet to see what else he’ll say.

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