Page 144 of Oblivion

“You fucking slapped me!”

A savage finger stabbed at the air between us. “And you fucking deserved it for being a bitch. I’m sick of people treating me as if I’m the source of their problems. I’m so fucking sick of always hearing that I’m better off without the people I love. And I’m so fucking disappointed that you tell me you love me, but can’t stand by those words as soon as life gets too hard. You shouldn’t say shit you don’t mean, Dante. I’ve had so many people lie to me in the past six months and I’m so. Fucking. Over. It!”

“I meant every single one of those words, so don’t tell me they mean nothing when they mean goddamn everything!” I yelled back.

Tears gathered in her eyes and her voice cracked. “They don’t mean shit until you prove me wrong.”

I threw out my arms and spluttered for coherent words, despite millions running through my head.

“Seriously, what the fuck do you want me to say? Huh? That it was you I was thinking of while she sucked my cock? That I didn’t finish—because side note; I didn’t, and I couldn’t get rid of her fast enough. That if you and I were officially together, it wouldn’t have happened? All that doesn’t matter now because I can’t fucking change the past. I can’t. Fucking. Change. The Past!”

If I could, I would go back and make sure Forrest left the Army when I did. Or, I’d hand in my re-enlistment papers, which theoretically would mean my path never would have intersected with Penny’s again.

That reality check left a burning emptiness in my chest. One that I rubbed at.

“I can’t change the past, Penny,” I repeated, quietly.

Wave after wave of exhaustion seeped through my body, and I sat heavily on the bed when my knees gave out.

“Then stop pushing me away just because you made a stupid mistake. You of all people know how hard I’m struggling to trust at the moment. I can’t handle you being hot and cold.”

She visibly trembled and wore her heartbreak on her sleeve, hiccuping when a sob couldn’t be contained.

I hissed a curse. I harbored so many regrets, and breaking her heart was at the top of the list, first equal with failing Forrest.

Penny paced to the window and kept her back to me. “Just give it to me straight, Dante. If you really want me to leave you alone, I will. But please, just tell me so I’m not pulled in opposite directions. I can’t be left guessing anymore.” She released a heavy sigh. “It hurts too much.”

My hands fell limp between my knees. I was beaten. Utterly defeated by the sassy girl with long hair and sad, penetrating eyes.

Penny turned and stood tall despite the nervous scrunch of her bare toes against the carpet. She didn’t back down when I stood and stepped closer, and she didn’t so much as blink when I reached for her face.

Focusing on my fingertips drifting over her plump lower lip, I then feathered them along her jaw.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” I murmured.

I swiped away her tears as my attention lingered on her mouth. My lungs squeezed so damn hard from the sight of her sorrow.

Opening my mouth to speak, I came up empty. There was simply no way of describing what I felt for her. In a matter of a few short weeks, Penny had redefined how I viewed relationships. She’d woken something deep within me. Something pure and true and not easily found, and words simply couldn’t express how my soul yearned for her.

“Well, youdid,”she quipped. A fresh wash of tears tumbled down her cheeks. “So, I guess this is it, then?”

Desperation clawed in my stomach. It froze my chest in its ascent. Gripped in my throat.

We werefarfrom done.

Through the pounding headache and rolling nausea, came resolve. I wasn’t letting this girl slip away. Not again. Not when she was here, crying onto my hands and giving me one last goddamn chance.

I gently smoothed both thumbs over her eyes, swiping away the falling moisture as I went. It pooled high on her cheekbones as I took her face in my hands.

“When it comes to us, babe, there will never be anit.”

CHAPTERFIFTY-FIVE

Penny

My breath wouldn’t come. Dante’s words held it surrender. His eyes bore into mine, delving into my soul, into the place where evenIdidn’t recognize myself.

There will never be an it.

---