Page 73 of Amor Prohibido

My balance wavered further when I looked across at Dad’s sleeping form. Complexion sallow and washed out, he appeared frail and nothing like the strong, sturdy man I saw the week before. I bit down hard and breathed through my nose in an effort to control the welling emotion. My heart broke for Mum; Dad was her entire world and if he wasn’t in it, the loss would absolutely destroy her.

Quiet mumblings in Spanish came from behind me. There weren’t many occasions where Miri held an entire conversation in the language our family couldn’t fully understand, but this exchange between her and Jax must have called for it. A moment later, a hand grazed my lower back, then Mum was gently removed from my arms. Jax rubbed up and down my spine while Miri quietly led Mum from the room.

Silently pulling up a chair next to Dad’s bed, I carefully propped my forearms on the mattress and looked him over. The consistent beeping of the heart rate monitor already grated on my nerves; ironic, since every obnoxious beep let us know that Dad was still alive.

Jax’s fingers touched down on my forearm and I shifted to pull her onto my lap. Burying my head in the crook of her neck, I welcomed her arms snaking around my shoulders. Only then did I allow myself to let go and feel the pain I was struggling to keep at bay.

We didn’t speak. We didn’t look at each other. We didn’t disturb Dad. We just sat wrapped in each other’s arms and silently prayed for him to pull through.

The agonising wait felt like hours, though I don’t remember a minute of it. Jax helped to break the tension, using subtle gestures or glances to remind me of her support. Dad roused briefly a few times but wasn’t lucid enough to wake fully, so we conversed in hushed tones with our mums throughout the afternoon.

Nearing early evening, Dad started away and threw out an arm. Him waking up instigated a flurry of movement and Mum was at his side in an instant.

I rubbed her back, consoling her through her tears, and leaned over Dad. “Welcome back. We’ve all been worried out of our goddamn minds. What the hell happened?”

He offered a weak smile while fighting to draw a large breath. “Don’t really know. One minute… lacing my sneakers. Next… doubled over with heartburn... wouldn’t ease. Then was… passing out. Your mum… called ambo.”

Mum paled again and tightened her grip around Dad’s hand. “Thank our lucky stars I did. We may not be sitting here right now.” Her mouth was downturned and trembling. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” She cried, letting her tears drop onto their clasped fingers.

“I know, love… I’ll be okay. It’s all going… to be… okay,” he murmured, then weakly tugged her down for a hug.

Jax and I busied ourselves with inspecting fingernails, having a drink, or reading the health posters on the wall. Miri, however, stood at the end of the bed watching them with an adoring smile, dashing the moisture from her eyes with a flick of her fingers.

The moment was broken by the doctor appearing. Mum was on him for information before he got a word out.

“Yes, there’s an update. With the combined results from the ECG and bloods, we can confirm that you did indeed suffer a minor myocardial infarction, Mr Malone. A heart attack,” he clarified when he saw Mum about to ask exactly what that was. “The plan is to keep you in for monitoring for a few days and get you settled on a medication routine. Family and friends are welcome to visit, but please be mindful that Kip needs as much rest as possible.” The doctor looked at each of us pointedly.

Of course, I wanted to stay at Dad’s side, but realistically that wasn’t practical. He was in the best hands now and would be for the foreseeable short-term.

After the doctor had answered all questions, he pointed his pen at Dad. “Rest up, Mr Malone. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He then left as abruptly as he had arrived.

“Right… you heard… the doc. Everyone… clear out,” Dad puffed. Despite the hint of a smile on his lips, he looked shattered.

“I’m not leaving your side for a moment,” Mum declared.

“Yes... you are, love... Go home. Rest… I’ll be fine.”

“No. I’m staying.”

My eyes ping-ponged between the two of them, amused by their animated argument. Mum was hunkering down for the long haul and Dad knew no matter how hard he insisted she leave, she wouldn’t be moving unless it was on her terms. I snickered at the fact I was also under the thumb of a feisty woman who asserted her authority. I knew exactly how the man felt, and I also knew we wouldn’t have it any other way.

A soft tap on my shoulder got my attention. “I might get going and let your papi rest. Do you want to come or stay a little longer?” J asked with a little crease of worry between her eyebrows.

“I’ll come,” I replied softly.

“Mama, do you need a ride home?” Jax asked Miri.

“Yes please, mijita. If it’s no trouble?”

“It’s no problem at all, Maria. Anytime,” I promised.

She nodded, then turned to Dad. “Steve and Darren will be in soon. Get Kath to let us know if you aren’t up for any more visitors and they’ll come tomorrow.”

Dad smiled and assured her that he’ll be up to seeing them. I waited as Jax leaned over and hugged him affectionately, and with a squeeze of his fist, I told him I’d stop by tomorrow.

After we dropped Maria home, Jax and I rode in absolute silence, each deep within our own thoughts. I didn’t want to prod the beast while she was driving, so I kept all my questions on lockdown until we got inside the house.

Once the heating was on, I poured myself a large, stiff drink while Jax made yet another trip to the bathroom. When she returned, she surprised the hell out of me by wrapping her arms around my waist from behind and holding tight as I made her a hot chocolate.

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