Page 21 of Amor Prohibido

Tearing my eyes away from studying my now-butchered nail bed, I willed my gaze to meet that of my parents—who still hadn’t uttered a single word. Judging by Papi’s blood-red face and the way Mama’s complexion was deathly pale, thelastthing I wanted to do right now was burst outlaughing.

I opted for gnawing a hole on the inside of my cheek, not caring that the metallic tang of blood filtered over my taste buds.

Unable to stand the tension crushing the oxygen from the air, I lowered my gaze to my hands again. A moment later, Papi startled me by standing and storming out of the room, slamming the door hard in his furious wake. It would have been better if he yelled and cursed. Showed any other emotion aside from deep and bitter disappointment. His disappointment cut me deepest of all.

With Papi gone, Mama found her voice. It wavered as she forced out a single word. “Who?”

“Mama.” I sighed. I didn’t want to get into that right now. Major repercussions would follow for both our familia and the Malones. Jace didn’t know yet, and once Darren found out, he was going to completely lose his shit at the both of us for our stupidity.

“Jax,” Mama warned.

I huffed again and tried to throw her off the scent. “Mama, the guy doesn’t even know yet, so there’s no way I’m telling you. You’ll tell Papi, who will tell Darren, who will then tell the Malones. I’m freaking out enough as it is without the circling gossip.”

Mama let out an exasperated breath. She slapped her hands on her knees and rose to her feet with decision. I let her grab my hands and tug me over to the couch to sit with her. Having her beside me instead of across from me was comforting. She had always been my rock. No matter what situation I found myself in, Mama was quick to listen and slow to judge—a lesson in compassion she’d learned at a young age from her abuela.

Mama gently squeezed my hands until I looked her in the eye. That’s when I saw it. Concern. It made me want to sob my eyes out while she ran her hand soothingly through my hair, just like she did when I was little.

“I am your mami. No matter how or who, at the end of the day, I am here to do my job; to get you through the toughest times in your life. That seems to be a full-time job in itself,” she muttered under her breath, though I clearly heard it. “Things just hap-”

“Happen with me. Yes, Mama, they do!This isn’t helping!”I cried.

The torrent of emotions kicked me from being terrified, to sick to my stomach, to barely holding back tears, and now, to exasperated.

Mama softly snickered. “Never a dull moment is there, hija?”

I shook my head solemnly.

“You know you can trust me. And I give you my word I will not tell a soul, including your papi, untilyouare ready.”

I reluctantly smiled and my grip automatically tightened on her fingers. I knew she would keep her word. Mama had never given me a reason to not trust her.

My chest grew tight with trepidation and my vision clouded as I started to hyperventilate. His name was on the tip of my tongue, I just couldn’t force it to become audible.

“Mama, first you need to promise you won’t get angry or freak out.Andyou need to promise you won’t sprint from the room and pick up the phone.”

I envisioned the worst kind of phone call going down in approximately sixty seconds, involving my mama and Kath.

“Mijita [daughter], unless you were raped, I will stay away from the phone. And do you think I can freak out more than I did five minutes ago? Not possible,” she stated.

“I wasn’t raped, Mama.”Farfrom it. It was the best drunken hook up of my life. Little did Mama realise, as soon as his name passes my lips, she was going to flip.

“You’re blushing. C’mon, girly, out with it.” Mama’s voice stopped me from revisiting the steamy encounter.

“Okay, here goes. It’s... Jjjjjjddaahammit! I can’t say it!” I screamed through clenched teeth.

“Do you want to write it down? Might make it easier?”

I blanched at the notion of seeing his name written before me. “Nope, then it becomes real.”

She waited quietly; eyes full of expectation while I psyched myself up.

“Okay, okay, I can do this. It’s, it’s, iiiiit’s…”

Mama raised her voice over my idiotic chanting. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, Jacquelyn, out with it already.”

“It was Jace,” I yelled over her yell.

There. It was out in the open.

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