Page 116 of Boost

Raf pushed to his feet and stood at the window overlooking the street. I didn’t approach, knowing that if I touched him, it would somehow break the trance he was locked in. Instead, I folded myself into my favorite chair and mopped away the tears as they fell.

“When he had her unconscious on the floor, beating her for no reason, all I could hear was what mamá used to whisper to us after the abuse had stopped for the night. She used to tell us that we were safe. That she would protect us, and say that when our father was hurting her, it meant that he wasn’t hurting me and Lucía.

“When I found him beating her so bad that afternoon, I thought he’d already killed her. I went to find the handgun he kept in his bedside drawer. I was scared shitless, but not of using it or hurting him… I was so fucking scared that if mamá was gone, he would start hurting my sister. I kept thinking that I could take him hurting me, but never Lucía...”

I sandwiched my palms together and pressed them to my mouth in disbelief over what I was hearing. The squeeze in my chest was nothing like I’d ever felt before, not even when enduring my own abuse. Tears constantly clouded my eyes, making it completely pointless to keep wiping them away. My heart, fuck, myheartached so damn hard for Raf it was impossible to breathe anything other than short, sharp breaths against my prayer-positioned hands.

“Raf,” I whispered shakily, wanting to comfort him, but not knowing how.

He shook his head and remained facing the window. “I remember being so calm as I pulled the trigger. It gave me such a bad fright, though—I never expected the noise or the kickback. Both made me panic, and I unloaded the entire clip into his back, only stopping after I realized bullets were no longer firing. I would have kept going otherwise. After that, it’s all a bit of a haze.”

From where I sat, I saw a frown form on his profile as he thought.

He shook his head. “I remember screaming as I struggled to drag his body off mamá. There was so much blood I thought I’d shot her as well as him. Neither of them were moving. Lucía came out from her room and froze. Fuck, the terror in her eyes still haunts me to this day. For a ten-year-old to see that… it’s no wonder she’s so fucked up now.”

While I wanted to ask about his sister, that was a conversation for another day.

“The neighbors must have heard the gunshots—there was no way they wouldn’t have. I’m sure they knew of the abuse within our house, but up until that day they didn’t do a damn thing to help us. When they started banging on the front door, I thought they were going to take Lucía away from me, so I told her to go to our grandparent’s house across the suburb. She was missing for so long that night I thought I’d lost her, too. Thought I was the only one left.” He finished with a whisper that tore ribbons off my soul.

More tears trickled down my cheeks and gathered along my jaw. I brushed them away, then pressed my fingers to my eyes. So much heartbreak. So much grief, pain and suffering for one family to endure, let alone a fourteen-year-old kid left to bear the heaviest of burdens.

“Raf, you did the right thing.”

He turned to me—a violent, sharp action that made me jump. “Did I, though? All these years later, I’m still paying formy father’sactions that forced mine. I didn’t want to become a murderer, Greer! Fuck! Sometimes I wish I could take it back, but the truth is that I would do it all over again if I had to. For Mamá. For Lucía.And you know what? I’d do it for you, too.”

I raised my hands as if to shield myself from the admission as my mouth worked open and closed.

Raf smirked—not the sexy, cocky kind. Rather, the dark, sinister kind that wove shadows through the air around him.

“Ironic, really. You’re theoneperson I actually fucking thought could dull my past enough for me to see a future with a family of my own, but this changes things.” He scoffed bitterly and turned away when I rose to my feet.

I approached on silent footsteps, my hands yearning to touch him, to gather him against me and hug him so damn tight. To fix some of the brokenness he carried within. Above all else, to restore what we had up until a few days ago.

“You really thought that? About us?”

“Really, Greer? Of all the things I just told you,that’swhat you ask?”

“Yes. Because it means we have a fighting chance to work through this. To be vulnerable enough to break wide open and trust. To acknowledge and accept the truth. To love without anything holding us back. Because I deserve it, and no matter what you or others say and think,youdeserve it.”

“I don’t.”

I stepped up to his chest. “Youdo.”

Raf lifted his hands to halt my advance. Instead of backing down, I scissored my fingers with his. The tattoos on his fingers contrasted my virgin skin with startling beauty. Our physical connection was the grounding force we so desperately sought, and with his palms pressed to mine, I leaned my chest against his.

Lips barely a breath apart and heartbeats running wild, our all-consuming chemistry was still alive and sparking. Devotion rose to swim along the surface in Raf’s dark eyes.

“But I laid a hand on you,” he murmured, as the affection began to fade.

I shook our clasped hands to regain his focus. “If I was attacked on the street, would you expect me to lash out as my first reaction, or stand there and take it?”

The muscles in his jaw worked hard. “Lash out and fucking fight, baby.”

“Exactly,”I emphasized. “So, explain to me how you throwing out an arm is any different to my hypothetical reaction when taken off-guard?”

Despite understanding climbing across his features, he snapped, “That’s different.”

“How?”

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