Page 57 of Boost

“Then what the fuck, dude? I sure as fuck ain’t dumb, but I need you to spell it out for me.”

This was the Colton I remembered. Head so far up his own goddamn ass that he couldn’t see anything but himself.

How could I tell him that it was Greer causing me to act and think like a damn chick? I simply couldn’t allow myself to feel, especially for her. She was too good, and I… well, I was possessed by demons that simmered under the surface. They were constantly there, waiting to tear special things away from me. I was, after all, my father’s son.

It was Greer that had started to chip away at the iron casing around my heart the moment I first locked eyes on her. And the worst part? She didn’t even fuckingknowshe was doing it. No matter how hard I tried to repair the tiny fractures she created in my armor, she was breaking me down faster than I could keep her out.

“It’s not the foundation,” I repeated, this time as a murmur.

Pressing a finger and thumb into my eye sockets did little to alleviate the tension building in my head, and neither did Colton’s snigger.

“And, we’re back to the voodoo pussy.”

I growled; the vibrations of frustration reverberated throughout my chest. “It’s not fucking funny!”

“She’s really sent you into that much of a tailspin, huh?” Amusement and disbelief colored his words.

Itsked.I didn’t want to fall into another one of his looped traps that always seemed to lead back to voodoo pussy.

“Fuck you,” I snapped.

“You wish, Ortiz, but I don’t share my dick with anyone aside from Ryles nowadays.”

I hissed through my teeth instead of spitting more tacks at him. They’d bounce off his asshole exterior, anyway. He welcomed that sort of shit and thrived off it, so I may as well save my breath and the effort of arguing.

It took a long few seconds before he spoke. “Take it from me; anything’s possible.”

“This can’t be,” I replied.

“I know.”

Those two simple words were loaded with far more than just an acknowledgement. He knew what it meant to deem some things—some people—unattainable, no matter how hard you craved them. He got lucky with Rylee. Not everyone got that chance to find their person. Even if I could get Greer, my chances of keeping her, not corrupting her and tainting her with my darkness, were almost impossible.

“You done pissing and whinging?”

Colton’s wry comment snapped me from my thoughts. I pushed off the window ledge and wandered into the bathroom.

“I wasn’t whinging, but I’m about to piss. Do you want to stick around and listen, or fuck off so I can get on with my day?”

His bark of laughter curled my lips into a smile. “Fuck that, I’m out.”

I sniggered. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Have a good one.”

“You too, Raffie. And remember; voodoo pussy!”

I hung up on his deranged laughter and slid my phone onto the vanity. “Voodoo pussy, my ass,” I muttered to myself. “Voodoo entire woman, more like.”

After washing my hands, I balled them on the vanity and looked myself over in the mirror.

Staring back at me was the man I’d grown to recognize. The one whose past actions would forever hold him back in invisible ways. Last night, I had taken a little bit of happiness for myself. The outing I’d hustled Greer into gave me a taste of what I craved, but was also the sharp reminder of everything I could never have. Our worlds were like oil and water. That shit didn’t mix no matter how much it was shaken; the fusion was always destined to separate.

With those deflating thoughts running a mile a minute through my head, I flicked on the shower and kicked out of my boxers.

Today I had a date with the most important woman by far in my life—my mamá. I killed for her, and guilt consumed me even all these years later that I hadn’t done it sooner. She gave me life, and he nearly took hers before I manned up to stop him.

Although it was my father that broke her—brokeus—I still carried those demons as if they were solely mine to shoulder. Jesus fuck, I was just akid.A kid that was forced to grow up too soon.

Shaking off the layer of revulsion that accompanied the haunting memories, I stepped into the shower and allowed my head to hang. Hot water streamed across my shoulders and down my back, bringing relief to my coiled muscles.

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