Page 30 of Love Triggered

Lya deserves to know—especially after everything that happened between them—but I know the moment I tell her, that will be it. If I tell them, they’ll hunt him down and keep me from seeing the light of day until he’s no longer a threat. I can’t let that happen—I just got my freedom back; I’m not ready for it to be ripped away again. Guilt is eating at me for keeping this a secret, but if I tell them, there’d be no chance of seeing him again... and strangely, I don’t want that.

Why did he have to look so fucking good? Why did he have to look like a god walking the earth?

I’m so conflicted right now. I want to forgive him, but I also want to hate him. I want to rip his clothes off of him and jump his bones, but I also want to punch him over and over again in the face until my knuckles are bleeding.

He said he didn’t know his dad sold me that day, but I don’t believe that. I’ve thought about it so many times over the last nine years—his father was grooming him to take over, keeping him close to learn the ins and outs of the operation. Greyson had access to his contacts, hemusthave known where I’d gone.

Omega also knew how much Greyson cared for me, and he was such a sick bastard that he’d have taken pleasure in Greyson watching me get dragged away. Surely there’s no way Omega would’ve sold me without taking the opportunity to see Greyson fall apart.

It’s impossible. Greyson clearly let me go, and he didn’t give one shit about stopping it.

But the way his eyes were begging me to understand has me second-guessing everything I’ve believed. If it’s not true, all of this hate I’ve harbored for nine years would be for nothing.

Fuck. I just don’t know. I mean, he lied to Lya the entire time they were together, so how do I know he’s not lying again now? How do I know he’s not working with Harvey to take me back, or to sell me to someone else?

Even if I did believe what he says, there’s no way we could be together. This man had an entire relationship with my sister just over six months ago. He was convinced she was me, but does that even make this situation any better? He literally had sex with my sister. Then he drugged her, kidnapped her, and tried to keep her captive.Could I ever forgive him for that?Lya sure as hell won’t ever forgive him, so there’s no way she’d let me be with him.

My shoulders feel tense, my back is aching, and my mind is swirling. I just need an escape from everything going on. I need to relieve some of this tension. Before I even realize what I’m doing, my hand slowly slides down my stomach, into the waistband of my shorts. My fingers glide through my slick folds, my mind consumed by Greyson. I’m so fucking wet just picturing him. It should be illegal to be this soaked.

His minty scent still lingers in my nose, and I can feel his hot breath on my skin as he leans into me, teasing me with all the things he could do with those promising lips of his. The feel of his touch wraps around my hand like he’s still there. All I can think about is how I want those rough palms all over my body, sliding up and down my curves. I want his mouth on mine, his tongue covering every inch of my body.

I shouldn’t want that.

I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

I dip my fingers inside of my entrance, slowly pumping back and forth, letting my thumb circle my clit while his cool blue eyes flood my memory. The need for his delicious stubble skating down my delicate skin intensifies. I want him—I want him bad. I want to feel him inside of me, erasing the hideous memories of the last nine years. Stretching me out with his greedy cock, that I could see straining unashamedly through his pants today. Erasing the memory of every single man who ever touched me without permission. I want him to pull me out of my deep despair and make me whole again.

My breaths come in pants now as my chest rises and falls rapidly. I bring my free hand under my shirt and slowly begin to roll my breast between my fingers, pinching at my hard, peaked nipple, which sends shudders of pleasure through me. My fingers pump in and out faster, causing my climax to build.

Heat floods my body as I imagine Greyson’s body pressing into me as sweat rolls down his perfectly defined body, his warmth wrapping around me. The idea of him lining himself up with my entrance and slamming into me causes a bolt of lust to sear through me. I want to feel his hard cock inside of me, consuming my entire being.I have no idea what’s gotten into me since I saw him, but it’s making me needy as hell.

My legs begin to quiver, and my body shakes as my release rips through me, causing me to see stars. An orgasm like that without him here has me wondering what it’d be like with the real thing.Damn it.I really need to get it together. I just masturbated to the man who should bring me nightmares instead of pleasure.

What’s wrong with me?How can I simultaneously hate someone so much, but crave them more than the air I breathe?

Coming down from my high, I head to my bathroom to clean up. My core is still sensitive from the orgasm that Greyson just unknowingly gave me. Every limb in my body is relaxed from the release. Maybe a good orgasm was all I’ve been needing lately, to get me to shut off my mind.

Trying to shake off the thoughts of everything Greyson, I head downstairs to hang out with the others. If I keep myself isolated all night, Lya will know something is wrong—and I can’t give away this secret.

Walking into the living room, I find them playing some video game. Rian has tried to teach me how to play before, but I just can’t figure it out. Zep says it’s because Rian’s the one trying to teach me and apparently he sucks, but I honestly don’t think I have the coordination for it.

“Hey guys, what’re you playing?” My tone is light and easygoing, trying to play it off that Idefinitelydidn’t just masturbate to the idea of my sister's kidnapper, who’s also the guy I used to love before he betrayed me. Just thinking about it makes me feel like I’m double-crossing them.

“Just someCall of Duty. You wanna play?” Rian asks, without looking away from the screen.

“Uh no, that’s fine. Last time I played with Thiago, I screamed at the top of my lungs because a zombie scared me. I’ll just watch.” I giggle, thinking about how terrified I was playing that game. I plop down on the sectional, watching them go at it.

Spread across the table are some bags of chips and dip, the usual snack when they all play. There’s also some cottage cheese, which the guys apparently eat with jalapeño kettle chips. Sounds disgusting, if you ask me.

“This round will be over soon, if Rian keeps dying so quickly. Having to revive him constantly is putting us all at risk. We’re so close to breaking our round record too.” Zep scoffs, and Thiago snickers at his comment.

I’m captivated by how well they all work together in this game. Each of them cover the others, taking down swarms of zombies and hellhounds that are all over the screen. Honestly, it resembles how well they all work together in real life. It’s clear they’re also a team outside of these games.

“Revive me, motherfucker!” Zep yells at Rian.

“I don’t know man, you said it puts us at risk to revive. No can do, champ,” Rian teases, still not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Seriously, baby? Come on! We’re all going to die otherwise,” Lya pleads with Rian.

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