Page 59 of Blood of the Saints

“Don’t fucking ask about my mom,” Blais growls, glaring at me, his eyes darker than I’ve ever seen. There’s no life in his usually light hearted gaze. I can tell I’ve really hit a nerve, and that wasn’t the plan. I’m trying to get closer to him, not push him away.

Trying to make it better, I lay my hand on his thigh. “I’m sorry, Blais. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

His body stiffens and his eyes practically burn my hand. Clenching his jaw, his breaths become ragged. The muscles in his neck are so tight I can see the veins popping out as his entire face reddens. A low growl sounds from deep inside him as his chest heaves up and down.

All I can do is sit here and wait for the bomb to explode. He’s morphing into a beast right before my eyes, making me wait for the impact I’m about to suffer.

Something I’m used to.

Suddenly, Blais jumps up with a roar, knocking the tray from my lap onto the floor. I flinch at his unexpected outburst, trying to push back from his rage. The crash rings in my ears and my entire body goes rigid from his anger.

There it is—the explosion.

I was only trying to comfort him, but I triggered something instead.

Blais growls, pacing around the cell like he’s a caged lion. He’s so in his head, I’m not sure if he remembers that I’m here. His eyes are unfocused, looking deranged.

What’s going on in that handsome head of yours, Blais?

I cautiously stand, controlling my movements, trying not to spook him. Taking a step toward him, I try to reach for him, but he doesn’t let me touch him this time. He grabs my hand, spinning me around until my back slams against the wall. My body hits it so hard the wind is knocked out of me.

What is it with these guys and pinning me against walls?

“You stupid, piece of shit. You’re worthless. Your mother should have aborted your dumb ass when she had the chance. It would’ve saved her so many years of putting up with an incompetent pile of garbage like you.” He lands another kick to my side with his steel-toed boot.Pain erupts as I hear a crack from the impact. I try to zone him out, retreating into my mind, but he makes it impossible.

“Worthless.”Kick.

“Waste of space.”Kick.

“Get your bitch ass up and fight, you little shit.”Kick.

I try pushing myself up, but the pain going through my entire body is too much. I can’t take this. I wish he’d just kill me this time. Finish me off like he wants. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be gone.

Some nights I think about doing it myself. Taking all the pain away, leaving this world like he wishes I would. Maybe my mom would be better off without me bringing her down. It’s not like I can do much to help her, I’m not very big and I can’t stop him on my own. Even if it doesn’t feel like it most days, I’m still just a kid.

If I left, Jett would be here without me, and he’d probably become the target of Kenny’s aggression instead of me. I couldn’t do that to him. He’s so small, vulnerable, and innocent. I’d hate to leave him to be Kenny’s punching bag.

“I said get the fuck up.” Kenny grabs my arm pulling me forcefully, so I’m standing before him. Hot pain sears through my body, forcing me to double over, holding my arms to my stomach from where my ribs feel like they're being pulled from my body.

I can smell the stale beer wafting off his breath as he stumbles back a bit after landing another punch to my back right in the middle of my spine. My mother’s boyfriend is the devil in the flesh. He’s a nightmare, one I can’t escape from.

I wish he’d just hit me in the face. Usually when he starts going for my face, that means he’s close to being done. His usual go-to beating method ends on a good hit to the face. He’ll stop after that, until he comes back for more the next night. Sometimes I think about running away, because I’m not sure I can go through with killing myself. But I always drift back to one thing.

My brother. Jett keeps me here even if I know it might kill me someday.

I know he hits my mom too. He beats her just as bad as he does me for interfering each time. Then he takes her back to their room where I hear muffled screams all night. She always tells me she’s okay, but I know she lies to protect me.

If only I was bigger, I could take him down. I could get my mom away from this monster.

“Maybe I should just kill you? Get rid of you once and for all. It’s not like you bring any value to this home anyway,” he says, his words slurring.

“Do it.” My voice is shaky, but I remain strong.

“What was that, you little prick?” He grabs ahold of my hair, pulling my neck back so I’m staring into his bloodshot eyes. The pain from his grip distracts me from the aching in my ribs. Everything hurts, but what else is new? I’m not sure I’ve gone an entire week without receiving new bruises from him. My body never has time to heal, making the pain a constant reminder of my mom’s boyfriend’s presence.

“I said, do it.” Suddenly his fist slams right into my mouth, causing pain to shoot through my skull. A metallic taste coats theinside of my mouth, but I try to hold back a smile.

The blood means he’ll stop.

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