Page 72 of Hate the Way You Lie (Hate 2)

“Nix told me a while ago. He wanted me to know who else was in the house and to let me know that if I heard anything, it’s likely bullshit and that you were a good guy. He said to give you a chance before I judged you for your past. Kinda funny now thinking that he said that, all things considered with how things happened with Tara.”

Of course, Nix told him. They’re best friends. Why would I assume any differently? I’m honestly a little relieved that he already knows, so I don’t have to rehash that shit again tonight.

“Oh…”

“I obviously don’t think bad of you, and I never did, Rush. Not even when he told me did I judge you. I haven’t said anything, I let you live in the house with my best friend, and I trust you with our girl. If I thought you were a stone-cold killer, you wouldn’t even breathe the same air as Tara.”

“I assume Nix showed you the video?”

Reilly nods. “You did nothing wrong. I can’t imagine how bad the guilt has been tearing you up over the years, but we don’t blame you. You need to move on with your life and believe that you didn’t mean to hurt her or do anything wrong. You need to allow yourself happiness, and if that includes our girl, Tara, then I’m cool with it and happy for you.”

Many men out there say they’d do anything for their woman, but I genuinely believe Reilly truly would. He’d die for her if it came down to it, and he’d do it happily. “She’s lucky to have you,” I whisper. “But as much as I’d love to have her for myself, I see how happy you—and even Nix—make her. I’d never be selfish enough to take that away from her or you. I don’t think she’d go for it in the first place, but if she did, she’d despise me.” There’s also something about Reilly that draws me in, and we’ve barely even explored that. Whenever we’re with Tara, we’ll catch each other's eyes or touch each other on the arm or hand. It’s small, but it’s a start. I’ve wanted to make a move, but I wasn’t sure how he or she would feel about it.

Reilly scoffs, his lips pulling up into a smirk. “She’s stubborn like that.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle.

Reilly turns to me, his eyes soft with comfort. “She’s lucky to have you too.” His hand slowly cups my cheek, sending a warmth straight down my spine. My gaze quickly flicks to his perfect lips, wondering if he’s making a move or if I’m imagining this.

“I don’t know about that. I don’t truly deserve her after what I’ve done.”

Reilly’s thumb gently rubs my cheekbone. Leaning in, he whispers, “We’ll let her decide that.” Before I can respond, his lips are on mine. I’m a little shell-shocked by the kiss but I quickly recoup and give him back as much comfort as he’s giving me. I can’t believe this is actually happening right now. Please let this be real and not a dream I’m conjuring.

His lips are warm and soft, and I study every little curve and crevice as he deepens the kiss. Sparks fly when our tongues collide. The kiss is passionate, but it’s not sexual. His emotions soak into me with each touch. It’s refreshing, but not a kiss that’s meant to take it any farther.

Before I have a chance to continue the exploration, his lips are ripped from mine as he pushes back and stands before me. “I’m sorry… I, uh, I shouldn’t have done that. I—” Fuck. I’m not sure he realizes what he just did, or maybe he does and is now spiraling out.

“Reilly…” I slowly stand. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to do that, it’s okay. If you didn’t mean it, I will not be mad or upset.” I’d never make him do anything he was unsure of, and right now, he looks pretty unsure.

He runs his fingers through his hair, the blond strands sticking up everywhere. “I…I…things are different between us. I’ve never felt this way about…about another guy. I’m drawn to you, but Tara… She’s everything. I don’t knowwhatto do. I love her… I fucking love her. I can’t risk losing her. Fuck.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I know it’s confusing, but it’s going to be alright,” I say calmly, cautiously reaching out for him. I need to calm him down before he has a full-fledged panic attack. “You don’t have—”

Reilly cuts me off as soon as my fingers touch his and he pulls his hand back like I burned him. “No. I can’t. I can’t do that to her. She said it was okay, but I don’t know. I don’t even know what I want. I’m sorry. I just fucked this up. I…I should go.”

With that, he storms inside, leaving me reeling even more. I don’t know what set him off tonight. Ever since he watched me with Tara out here, he’s been giving me signals that he’s up for something more. I figured that with him kissing me, that meant he was ready to pursue it more.

Maybe I was wrong.

Fuck, this is going to be awkward.

As much as Cohutta and Rush are enveloping me in warmth, perfectly cocooning me between their massive bodies, I can’t sleep. I’ve been awake for about an hour, listening to them breathe peacefully, but my mind just won’t shut off enough for me to actually relax. It’s been an exhausting, emotional day.

Both Rush and Cohutta got up during the middle of the night, leaving me here alone. Cohutta returned with tension rolling off him, and Rush followed shortly after. They both seemed weird when they came back in, waking me up, but neither said anything. I could tell something was off, but I got the vibe they didn’t want to talk about it.

Rush opening up to me about what he’s been through was more than I could’ve imagined. The despair dripping in his voice as he relived one of the worst moments of his life was heartbreaking. A moment he’ll never forget, one that will be burned into his soul forever. He shared his trauma with me because he trusted me. He cares enough about me to bear his scars, no matter how deep they run.

He’ll always have those scars. Just like me.

Rush reminded me that we could come out stronger after facing what feels like a death sentence. We don’t have to fall into the depravity of our circumstances if we don’t want to. The darkness doesn’t always have to be a weapon used against us. Instead, it can be a beacon of hope to fight against the restraints binding us.

The sweat coating my body is starting to get uncomfortable. It’s like a million bugs crawling beneath my skin, racing through my veins to claw their way out. Wiggling my body out from under the heavy limbs covering me, I try my hardest not to wake them.

As soon as I’m free, the loss of their warmth chills my sweaty body rapidly. My muscles tremble with anxiety as I stare at the two gorgeous men before me. I don’t know what I did to have them come into my life, but I’ll never take them for granted. It’s going to hurt like hell when I have to leave them, but it’s what I have to do to protect them.

It won’t be much longer until I’m fully healed and can run as far away as possible.

I’m not stupid, I know they’ll come looking for me, so I’ll have to be smart about it. I’ll have to completely go off the grid to pull this off.

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