Page 46 of Hate the Way You Lie (Hate 2)

“I tried so hard to stay strong, but it got harder as time went on. I had hope…until he cut out Lya’s tracker and replaced it with one of his own. That’s when I knew it was all over. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the chance to see the outside world again.” Tears well in my eyes as I relive my week in hell.

Cohutta presses against me as close as he can, lightly wrapping his arm around my waist. For the first time in, I guess, a week, I feel safe. Well, at least safer. Part of me still worries this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up to Zayan hovering over me.

“How did you get out?” He’s carefully avoiding asking about what happened while I was there. I guess Rush told everyone about my history with Zayan and by the look of me they can guess what happened.

“I realized no one was coming for me or at least no one knew how to find me. I had to save myself if I wanted to live. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Rush and…” I can’t say his name because he doesn’t deserve it, but I did think about him. Even if I don’t want to admit it, I still thought of Marnix. “Then I used the little energy I had left to break out of the cuffs and find a way out. He almost caught me, I was so close to being caught, but I gave everything I had to climb out of a window above the kitchen sink. Then I fucking ran. Ran and never looked back.” The tears spill down my cheeks, burning what I can only assume are cuts on my face. I haven’t seen myself yet and I’m kinda glad. From the way everyone else has been looking at me, I’m assuming it’s got to be pretty bad.

Cohutta cups my face and swipes the tears away. “You are fucking incredible. I…I’m not sure I even could’ve made it through that and still get away. I love you, Tara. Or should I call you strong girl from now on?”

A small grin graces my lips. “I love you too, stallion. But please don’t stop calling me wild girl.” His genuine smile makes my heart flip. I love Cohutta and I’m surprisingly not afraid to admit it. Before him, Zayan was the last man I ever said those three little words to. I thought I would never say them again, but this one here…there’s nothing not to love about him. He’s funny, caring, selfless, and handsome as fuck.

“You’ll always be my wild girl. Now that you’re back in my arms I won’t let anything happen to you. Neither will Rush or—” he cuts himself off before he can say his best friend’s name. Cohutta clears his throat.

“Cohutta…” I draw out. “I’m worried about you. What happened while I was gone?”

He painfully sighs. “I won’t lie to you, I lost control without you. The night Zayan took you, I went to my old house. The one where my parents—” He stops abruptly.

I’ve noticed he doesn’t talk about them much and I haven’t ever met them.

“Where your parents what?”

“I drew you something,” he changes the subject and I let him. I don’t want to push him more than he needs to.

It’s obvious something bad has happened that he doesn’t want to talk about right now. I know he will when he’s ready so I just let it go. “Can I see?” I smile. He’s a fucking amazing artist and I’m dying to see what he made just for me. He grins and pulls a folded white piece of paper out of his jeans pocket, handing it to me.

My heart flutters. It’s a sketch of me playing the piano. I look lost in the moment and the happiest I’ve ever been. Tears fill my eyes as I look at the intricate details. Everything is perfect down to the creases between my eyebrows and the curve of my nose.

I miss feeling like that. Happy. Free. Unbreakable. “It’s amazing,” I whisper, wiping the tears from my cheek. “You drew me perfectly.”

He chuckles. “Of course I did. You’re all I can see when I close my eyes. So fucking beautiful and pure.” This man is everything I’ve ever dreamed of. He drew this amazing picture for me by memory. I admire the drawing one more time before I set it on the bed behind me.

Even when I’m trying to be happy with my guy next to me, I can’t help but still feel like I’m being trapped. I still feel like I’m being held down by invisible barbed wire. I want to get it off me. I want to break free of it and feel like myself again. I need to shed this skin.

I slowly lift my leg over Cohutta’s waist and pull myself into his body, feeling every single one of my muscles protest. A small wince that I tried to stop escapes me as my limbs scream at me. “Wild girl, you need to lay down and rest,” he warns.

I know he wants me to sleep and heal right now but I need him. He makes me feel safe. He makes me forget. Others won’t understand, but sex has always been my escape. From everything. I want my stallion to make me forget the past week ever happened. I need him to wash away the pieces Zayan is still holding onto.

Leaning up, I capture his perfect lips with mine, causing a small moan to escape him. Warmth settles in my stomach as he kisses me back, knowing he’s kissing me with all the love he wants to cherish me with. I need more of him. When we’re together, nothing else matters. I forget everything I’ve been through when I have him on me. He can wash away the pain. He can make it better.

My tongue flicks out, grazing against his. Fuck, he tastes so good. Whiskey and maple syrup. Sparks fly between us as I grind my core against his hardening cock.

I reach down to stroke his dick through his jeans, but the movement brings him back to reality. He pulls back, worry etching his features. “Tara. You’re in pain and you’ve been through hell. W-we can’t. You…you need time to heal. Time to be okay. Time to process it all.” He looks like he’s thinking about changing his mind, but he shakes his head. “We can’t.”

My lips are so close to his that they touch when we talk. “I need you, Cohutta. I need your help. Touch me, love me. Make me forget. I want you to erase him. Erase him from my body. Please. I need this. I can’t stop feeling him on my skin. It makes me want to puke; it makes me want to rip all my skin off.” I rub his semi through his pants with my hurt hand and it jerks at my touch.

His eyes close for a second as he releases a deep breath. He grabs my wrist, gently stopping me. “I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I hurt you. Physically or emotionally. You’re not ready. I know you want to forget, baby, but that’s not the way. I’ll do anything else you want but I can’t do that. I care about you too much. We’ll get back to that one day, but you need to heal first. I want you to be with me when it happens, not trying to run from him.”

My cheeks flush with embarrassment, heat flooding my face. The rejection hurts even if he does have a point. “Cohutta,” I sob as the memories of this week play vividly in my head. He cradles my broken body into his and tries to soothe me. “All the things he did to me…” I can’t even finish my sentence, my throat closes and my chest heaves. Cohutta pulls me in closer, kissing the top of my head.

“I know, baby. I know. We’ll get through this,” he whispers after my sobs grow quiet. “You’re not alone. You have me. Us.All of us.” I know he means Marnix too, but I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to that.

“Even your goofy mutt,” he adds. I smile into his chest when the pup yips at him like she knows what he said. My little savior dog cuddles into the back of my knees. Between her and Cohutta, I know I’m safe. Exhaustion wafts over me, feeling the emotions crash around me. Cohutta draws little circles on my shoulder and kisses my head as I fall asleep in his arms.

I’m safe. I’m home.

She’s back.

Finally, she’s fucking back.

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