Page 129 of Hate You Forever (Hate 1)

Aweight has been sitting in the pit of my stomach since I got off the phone with Zayan earlier. I know he’s a crazy-ass motherfucker who will always make good on his threats. So now I just feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Fuck, I’ve been waiting for it to drop since he showed up at Star of India, trying to act like he never ruined my life and left me to pick up the pieces. An overwhelming sense of dread washes over me, knowing it won’t be long before he attacks. He’s a man on a mission, and I’ve never known him to be patient.

A hand brushes my thigh, pulling my attention back to the present. I look over to Marnix. He looks handsome tonight, opting for a pair of casual slacks and a nice button up. I told him he didn’t need to look fancy for dinner with my parents, but he said he wanted to make a good first impression. Like his choice in pants will save us from the looming disaster this dinner will be.

His thumb caresses the outside of my leg, the heat from his fingers sinking into my exposed thigh. Since he decided to look nice, I figured I could throw on a dress to look presentable. I’m wearing a deep red, flowy summer dress with flowers on it. Nothing overly crazy, but my mom loves flowers so maybe that will soften her up a bit.

“It’s going to be fine.” His piercing blue eyes are reassuring, like tonight isn’t a dumpster fire waiting to happen.

“Easy for you to say. You don’t know my parents,” I huff out.

“Remember, I can charm the pants off anyone.” He gives me a lopsided grin that’s enough to make me melt. He’s being sweet, trying to put me at ease, and I can’t help but soak up this moment. It’s rare to see a tender side of Marnix, but I don’t hate it.

“We’ll see about that.” I laugh. “My parents aren’t much of the bullshitting type. They get straight to the point and speak their minds.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” he teases, raising an eyebrow.

“Very funny. My father can be sarcastic like me, but my mom always goes for the throat. Don’t be deceived by her sweet face—if you fall for it, she’ll go for the kill before you even realize what’s happening.” I love my mother, but she can be overbearing at times. She always claims she wants what’s best for me, but I’ve often felt it’s more like what’s best for her.

“Are we still talking about your mom, or some secret assassin I don’t know about?”

I wish I could enjoy this mood Marnix is in. Instead, I’m over here acting somber about having to see my parents. Maybe we switched personalities for the night.

“Joke all you want, but you’ll see.” I turn my attention forward again, meeting Rush’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He’s looking at me sympathetically, like he understands the thoughts and fear running through my head.

Marnix decided to have Rush drive tonight, even though we easily could’ve done it ourselves. Marnix and Rush haven’t said anything, but I get a weird feeling something’s going on that I don’t know about. Not that I mind spending so much time with Rush, but he’s been around me at every waking moment—like if he takes his eyes off me or blinks, I’m going to vanish into thin air.

He even sleeps on the couch in the den area of my room, just to make sure he’s close enough if I need him. Every part of me wouldn’t mind having him cuddled up next to me, but I don’t need Marnix walking in on me with Rush in my bed. Not that I’m ashamed of him, but I don’t need the headache right now.

I know Rush has his concerns about Zayan, but this feels like something else. Naturally, neither of them are going to tell me what’s going on, because why would I need to know if something could happen to me or not? What a silly concept. But it has to be big, something that’s enough to get Marnix worried about my every move.

The drive to my parent’s house seemed to go by quickly since we’re already pulling up outside of it. It’s a small one-story home in a faded yellow color. Compared to the lavish home Marnix has, this is a dump, but it’s home. It’s where I was raised and it holds so many good memories that I cherish.

“A little different than you’re used to,” I say nervously, playing with the hem of my dress. I’m not embarrassed about how I was raised, but when I put it next to how Marnix was brought up, it’s uncomfortable to think about.

“It doesn’t matter where or how you were raised. You still turned out fine.” He doesn’t seem to be showing any pity or disgust, which I appreciate.

“Just fine?” I tease, trying to play it off, like I’m not feeling self-conscious.

“No, not just fine.” He looks at Rush, giving him a small nod, which Rush takes as a sign to get out of the car, leaving me alone with Marnix. He clears his throat and shifts his body toward mine. “You might not believe it sometimes, but you’re an incredible woman with a fiery personality, who could give any man in a boardroom a run for his money. You drive me insane and push my boundaries, but it’s part of the reason I’m drawn to you.”

“Mar—” He cuts off my words before I can say anything.

“I wasn’t finished.” His commanding tone would typically piss me off, but he looks like he’s dying to get this off his chest. “This started out as a contract and I was counting down the days until we could be free from each other, but after barely speaking to or seeing you for a week, I’ve realized that’s not what I want. Not hearing your sassy comments or seeing the way you try to get under my skin... It irritated me. It drove me fucking mad in ways I can’t explain. I wanted to give you space, but at the same time the urge to bust down your door every night and claim you for myself was almost too much to handle.” I can see the fire in his eyes as he continues to speak.

“After you pushed me away, it fucking hurt. More than I’d anticipated. I realized I’d been doing the exact same thing to you, which is why you did what you did, but I’m telling you now, I want to give this a try. For real—none of the fake bullshit. I don’t know what you’ve got going on with Reilly, and I can’t say I’m thrilled about it, but he saw something in you before I pulled my head out of my ass. I want in on that.”

Holy fucking shit. Did Marnix Taylor just open up to me? Did he just talk about his feelings like a normal goddamn human?

“Marnix, I-I... Are you high or something?” I’m stunned right now. I was not expecting to ever hear words like that come from him. He’s a broody asshole, and he doesn’t do emotions. My heart beats rapidly in my chest, knowing just how real and raw that was coming from him.

“No, I’m not high.” He smirks before continuing. “I’ve just had a lot of time alone in my own head to figure out what I want. I know I’ve been an asshole to you, and I’m not expecting you to suddenly have an answer for me, but I thought you should know where I stand. I can see you’re scared shitless, and I wanted to try to put you more at ease.” For once, his walls are down, giving me a true look into the man I married.

I take a deep breath. “Jesus Christ, Marnix. Every day since we had that dinner together, I’ve been wondering if I did the right thing by running away. It hurt. It really fucking hurt, but I know it was the right choice.” His face drops. He thinks I’m rejecting him again after he just opened up to me.

“I wasn’t finished…” I sass him, throwing his own words back at him. “It was the right choice, because it led us to this moment. We needed that space, that time to think about what we wanted and what was best for us. You pushed me away first, multiple times, and the rejection sucked. It hurt so damn bad that I preferred to close myself off. I tried to push you away—hurt you in return so I could protect myself—but in the end I understood. I get why you pushed me away, why we couldn’t be together. We’re constantly at each other’s throats, and as hot as that is, it’s also toxic. Time to reevaluate was good for us. I think it made us realize we can put some of the bullshit behind us and step forward in the right direction.”

It’s the truth. We weren’t in the right place. We have been so hot and cold; we needed the distance so we could see what’s right in front of us.

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