In the back of my mind, I knew she was dead, but I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t cope. How could my mother be gone? I cradled her to me for the longest time, humming the lullaby she always used to sing to me. Rock-a-bye baby. Stupid really. I wasn’t a baby any longer. But I wasn’t a man either. I was just a kid. A kid who’d lost his mother.

“Aiden? Lizzie?” I heard Tina’s voice.

I couldn’t move. All I wanted was my mother back. I heard the gasp as her footsteps stopped next to me.

“Oh my god, Aiden? Are you…?”

“Hello, Tina. Mummy has gone to heaven. I tried to wake her up, but she won’t. She’s gone.”

She gently pulled me away from my mother. She looked down at the body between us. Another gasp caught in her throat.

“Oh god. Oh god.”

“She’s dead, isn’t she?”

Tina looked at me.

“I’m sorry, Aiden. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

Her eyes reflected my own pain. Shaking herself, she put a hand out to me.

“You’re covered in blood, Aiden. I think we should get you cleaned up, okay?”

I nodded, placing my hand in hers. She led me into the bathroom and ordered me to strip. Turning on the shower, she pointed at it.

“Make sure to wash thoroughly, okay? I will deal with this. I’m sorry, Aiden. I’m so sorry you had to see her like that.”

I didn’t respond. I got in the shower and did what she asked of me. I made sure to wash away all the blood coating my skin. When I got out, the bloody clothes were missing. I went into my bedroom and put some clean ones on.

Tina was in the kitchen on the phone when I walked in.

“Look, you get over here and deal with it… I don’t care… Yes. I’ve kept him away. He hasn’t seen her… I really don’t care how it happened or why he did it. Unless you want me to phone the police and report her murder, then I suggest you clean up his mess… Of course, I know it was him. Who else would it have been?”

Tina looked up at me, her expression grave.

“Good. I’m taking him and you aren’t going to stop me. Understood?”

She hung up a moment later, giving me a tight smile.

“Aiden, honey, go put your coat and shoes on.”

I nodded.

It was just me and Tina now.

My mother was dead.

And whoever killed her was going to meet the same fate one day.

l

I dropped to my knees and did something I hadn’t done in a very long time. I cried. Tears ran down my face. Fuck. My heart hurt. It physically hurt.

Avery.

What the fuck did I do to you?

What the fuck did I do to us?