Page 42 of Becoming Wanton (Trade Wind 3)

“Of course not! How could I?”

“So you want me awake. But not enjoying it. Not responding too much.”

He dropped his face into his hands.

Bea shook her head. “Is this discussion too uncomfortable for you? Shall we try something else? How about you lay down on your back? I’ll ride you, but you’re not allowed to make any noise! Or move! Or touch me! I’m going to comeall over you, but you’re not permitted to climax!”

His hands dropped from his face, and his gaze rose slowly. His eyes both burned and pleaded. “Don’t do this to me. You think you know what you’re asking for, but I know how it would end if we allowed ourselves to…”

To love each other fully?She closed her eyes. He could not accept all of her. He didn’t want a marchioness who knew such base desires. “So you wish to be a proper marquess and for me to be a proper marchioness.” She shrugged tightly. “Very well, then. Go rut on a mistress like all your peers. I’ve given you an heir and a spare. I shall find my own way of meeting my needs.”

“What did you just say?” he growled.

I’ve already crossed the Rubicon. She stood. “You have disdain for me, anyway. Find someone who lies there, pleasantly awake, but who doesn’t move too much. Whose sordidness doesn’t disgust you. When I’m ready, I’ll find a man who treats me like James does Clara. Who kisses my mouth. Wholikesit when I touch him. Who lets me sink my mouth onto his—”

“No!” William was on his feet and in her face in a trice. “Youwon’t.”

“Who placeshismouth on my…”

She trailed off when he strode away.

Dropping onto the settee, she supposed she ought to feel ashamed for her words. Part of her was already sorry—the part who had spoken in anger, with the intention of not just provoking, but hurting William. That was unbecoming and she knew it.

She raised an eyebrow. The rest of her wasn’t sorry at all. She had spoken the truth, however offensive or unpleasant to him.

That felt even better than coming.

---