Page 44 of The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

---

HOW DOES BISEXUAL SEX WORK?

It’s like straight sex, but

you still get to imagine

Portia de Rossi.

It’s like straight sex, but

there are more people to high-

five when you’re finished.

It’s like the “Mindful

Raccoon” in acro yoga,

but less crotch grabbing.

It’s like gay sex but

with infinitely more puns

involved. Come again?

Pro: There are a lot

of choices! And con: There are

a lot of choices!

Fine. It’s like straight sex.

Get off our backs already,

and get on our backs!

It’s like straight sex, but

your sheets will be covered in

glitter eye makeup.

It’s like straight sex, but

less ambient techno and

more David Bowie.

It’s like gay sex but

with more trivia about

the bonobo ape.

It’s like gay sex, but

brunch counts as foreplay. IF IT

---