Page 184 of The Matchmaker's Choice: A Lesbian Romance
not ready. That would make me extremely sad, but I’d
understand. If you want to try this, then I want you to know
that I’m not going to change my mind about who I am. I’m not
going to change my mind about you. I would never walk out
on you. I would never leave you. I’d like to get to know you.
I’d like to be there for you. I’d like to get the chance to be
your best friend, to be the person you care for, and to care for
you back. I really do care about you and believe in us, which is
why I want to know what you think. I want to respect that. If
you need time to think, that’s okay too. If you need time to
learn how to trust, I understand. I know things happened really
fast, and maybe that scared you too. But I’m not going to run.
If things didn’t work out, then I think that we’d do the proper
thing and talk it out until we decided it wasn’t working for us
anymore. Isn’t that what people do when they care about each
other? If you feel it, then please don’t let someone else ruin
that and make you unhappy.”
Everything Steph just said makes me feel so unworthy
and underserving of her understanding and kindness. When I
stepped back to think, I just thought about how everything
could go wrong. I didn’t think that she’d come here today and
tell me that she’d give me time. That she’d be there. That she
wouldn’t walk away from me. That she’d actually get how
disabling fear can be. I’ve been crippled by that pain in the
past. It’s destroyed a lot of good things for me.
I can’t let it destroy this. That would be even more
painful.
And stupid.
How can I match people up for a living, how can I care
about them finding real happiness, when I’m so desperately
