Page 157 of The Matchmaker's Choice: A Lesbian Romance
want to be ungrateful or take advantage—”
“Mom. Mom, I know.” I uncurl my fingers when I
realize that’s exactly where Mom is looking. At my white
knuckles and nails mashed into the countertop. I lift my head,
but it’s not easy to look her in the eye. It’s not easy to tell her
like this, when I haven’t prepared.
I’ve had years to do that. How much time did I really
need? I should have done this a long time ago.
“I did take someone with me to a hotel. That’s true. I
did treat her. But she’s not just a friend.”
Mom’s hand grasps for the counter now. She’s a strong
woman, otherwise I’d rush around to the other side to support
her if she went down or fainted or something. As it is, her jaw
sets and she studies me without blinking. She’s mastered this
business face. The face that she gives to people who are being
dicks or who are questioning her authority or saying stupid
crap about my dad to her. She puts on this unreadable face so
that people can’t see what she’s feeling underneath of it.
“Mom! I wanted to tell you. I should have told you. I
was going to! I just…I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know
how to say it. I know that you and Dad are really conservative.
I know that you don’t hate anyone or judge other people, but
you have these ideas about how the world should work. I
know you do. I was scared. I tried to be normal! No, I’m not
going to use that word. I tried to be like most people. I tried to
convince myself that it was just a phase—”
“It is just a phase! You have no idea what you’re
talking about! You’re still young. You’re just experimenting.
Trying to get in your time before you have to settle down and
get married. I’m sorry. I pushed you too hard. I was butting in.
