Page 84 of If I Were Wind

“Mr Turner was kind enough to arrange for me to use one of the phones at the station. He paid for the call, and of course, Doris and Gladys wanted to hear you as well.” There was a shuffling noise. “I’ve lowered the phone so they can hear you too.”

“Mr Turner mentioned a trip?” Doris asked. “Where are you going?”

“I can’t tell.” I sat on a chair, my legs suddenly weak.

“Darling.” A moment of silence stretched before Aunt Mabel resumed talking. “We read distressing news from the Continent. It seems like 1914 all over again. Only darker. Even without those articles in the newspapers, I feel it. A shadow crawling over us.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “The Great War left me sensitive to the changes in the air.”

“Auntie—”

“I know you can’t tell me anything, but I want to ask you to be careful and to stay close to Mr Turner.”

“Stay very close to Mr Turner,” Gladys said.

I couldn’t smile at the joke. My aunt was a clever woman. “I’ll be careful.”

“Come back to us.”

“I will.” As I said those two words that were a promise I didn’t know how to keep, the weight of the mission crushed my chest. Now I understood why Roy was so worried about me.

~*~

MY SKIN STILL pricked, and not in a good way, after the phone call when I headed to my bedroom. It was as if a ghost were looming over me, whispering that nothing would ever be the same after this mission. Was I ready to risk my life? To not see my loved ones again? To fight against the Nazis? If I was being honest, no. I wasn’t ready. But the alternative was too dark to contemplate.

Along the corridor, I spotted Bruce standing in a corner and watching out of the window. His brow was creased with deep lines, and the tendons in the back of his hand stood out. “Hello, Bruce.” I stopped next to him.

He gave a start, turning towards me. “Kristin, didn’t hear you coming.”

“Is everything all right?”

In his other hand, he was holding a document similar to the one Roy had received from Allen. “No, I’m not all right.”

I put a hand on his tense shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I heard you’re going somewhere with Roy for work. You don’t have time to listen to me complaining.”

“I always have time for my friends. What’s the matter?”

He stared out the window again and didn’t speak for a few moments. “You saw what happened to Clare the other day, how Allen took her away from the great hall.”

I nodded. The fact that Clare had lied about her skills was public knowledge now.

He worked his jaw. “She was my first partner for a short time. We tried to merge only once, and it was painful. She wasn’t the right partner for me, nor I for her. It was clear. When I told her that I wanted to look for another partner, she got angry. She blathered something about me being cruel to her. She said I wanted to hurt her. But it wasn’t true.”

“She’s a little sensitive about rejections.” I had a feeling I knew where the conversation was going, but if Bruce was anything like Roy, he would clam up pretty soon.

He folded and unfolded the document. “She used her poison on me.” His voice lowered. “While I was lying there, she thought it was a good moment to…”

I closed my hand around his when he didn’t add anything else. I couldn’t and wouldn’t tell him about Roy’s experience, but I could let him know he wasn’t alone. “She did the same to other people.”

He whipped his head towards me. “Really?”

“Unfortunately.”

His jaw clenched. “From that day, I lost my confidence. You know, I like Miss Hammond, but I can’t summon the courage to ask her out. There’s something”—he rubbed his chest—“a choking feeling that prevents me from being myself with women again.”

“Bruce, you need help.” I put my hand on his arm. “Did you talk about this with Allen?”

His eyes widened. “No. Only Michael knows.” He chuckled. “It’s impossible to keep something secret from him. Allen wants to see me though, to understand if, as Clare’s former partner, I knew about her skill.”

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