Page 63 of Roughing It

I shake my head. “No. I just figured I’d hop out here so I can call a car.”

Zara lifts a brow at me. “Girl, don’t be crazy. It’s not like you live far.”

I blush a little because I hate being an inconvenience—that ugly people-pleasing side of me rearing its head again. But I tell myself I’ve been through enough this weekend, and Zara seems completely sincere. “If you’re sure.”

She lifts her other eyebrow up, her expression challenging me. “Don’t make me say it.”

I can’t help a small laugh. “Fine, fine.” I settle back into the seat after that and try not to look too upset.

It must not work, though, because Zara turns her body a little more and rests her arms over the back of the passenger seat. “Do I need to kick that man’s ass when I get back to work on Wednesday?”

I grin at her in spite of the ache in my chest. “No.”

“You sure? I’ve seen that look before.”

My heart thuds for a second, thinking that she’s talking about Maddox and another woman. “Is he seeing—”

“No, honey,” she interrupts. “I don’t mean him. But I’ve been there before, and I know how it feels.” She sweeps the collection of tied braids off her shoulder, then hooks her chin on the edge of the seat. “Maddy’s a good guy, but he can have his head all the way up his ass sometimes.”

I smile but shake my head. “It wasn’t just him. We had an agreement, but I didn’t expect to like him this much. It would be easier if I didn’t have all this shit going on, you know?”

“Mm. I do.” She looks like she wants to say more, but Edwin returns with a drink carrier holding three coffees. She passes one back to me, and I take it with a nod, not bothering to tell them I don’t drink coffee because the gesture was beyond kind.

Edwin gets my address after that, and the cab of the truck is entirely silent on the drive. We’re only twenty minutes from my apartment, and as Edwin comes to a stop at the drop-off area, I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders because it’s time to face facts. It’s over.

The weekend, the fling, the little hope I had that it could be more… it’s all finished.

Edwin helps me out of the truck and grabs my bag, and as I step onto the sidewalk, Zara is there, pulling me into a quick hug. I close my eyes and squeeze back, and she breathes out a small sigh before saying, “Don’t give up just yet.”

I don’t get the chance to ask her how that’s even possible before she’s gone, climbing back into her brother’s truck. I give them both a wave, then palm my keys before heading through the doors. I don’t bother with the stairs, my entire body exhausted, and I lean against the elevator wall until it stops at my floor.

The smell of my place doesn’t bring me the same comfort it usually does after a trip with Flor. Normally I can’t wait to be home, curled up on my couch with crappy TV, some hot tea, and my weighted blanket. I’m happiest like that on my own without the pressures of Flor’s social world weighing me down.

But now, I just feel… empty.

I drop my things in my room, staring at the mess on the bed Flor left behind, and it’s strange to imagine life before I knew what it was like to be under Maddox’s powerful body. The woman who left this apartment was just trying to get by.

The woman who stands here now knows that she can be loved. That she can be adored and swept away and worth something to a strange man living on a mountain.

And she knows exactly what it feels like to give all that up.

I don’t really surprise myself when I leave all my crap exactly where it is. It’s midmorning, but I shower and change into pj’s, then make myself a quick lunch. My couch is comfy, and my weighted blanket is warm, and it’s easy to self-soothe that way. I doze to the sound of TV, and the hours slip into late afternoon, then evening.

I order out Chinese for dinner and try everything I can not to think of Maddox. I put on Food TV instead of the normal rom-coms I watch on my days off because my life had turned into one of those, just without the happily ever after.

Evening slips into night, and just as I stick my toothbrush in my mouth, my phone begins to ring. For a moment, my heart leaps, but then I realize I never did give Maddox my number. I glance down at the screen and see Flor’s name, and as much as I want to avoid talking about any of this, I answer.

“How much do you hate me for abandoning you?” is the first thing Flor says.

I spit, then wipe my mouth on my hand before sticking it under the running water. “I’m breaking up with you.”

She whines. “Don’t toy with me right now. I’m fragile and high on painkillers.”

She knows exactly how to manipulate me. I shuffle out of the bedroom since my bed is still a mess, and I climb back into my sofa nest. “I don’t hate you. That dickhead you brought with you bailed before the storm hit, so I didn’t have to put up with him all weekend.” I have no idea what Flor remembers about our conversations, but I suspect it’s not much.

“Sage told him if he ever sees him again, he’s going to knock him out. What did he do?”

I close my eyes and sigh. I didn’t tell Sage everything, but he’s a smart guy and probably knows exactly what Monty pulled. “We had dinner,” I tell her. “Then he showed up at my room, and when I wouldn’t fuck him, he just called me a bunch of names and left me there.”

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