Page 60 of Roughing It

I bow my head. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” She scoffs, then laughs bitterly before reaching for her tea. “That’s a new one. John at least had the courtesy to laugh in my face and tell me what a loser I was for thinking there was anything between us.”

I bristle. “The asshole who dumped you?”

She shrugs and meets my gaze with a challenge, daring me to deny that I’d behaved worse. It hurts, but I can’t really defend myself. I’ve never been a coward before, and the feeling sucks.

“I panicked,” I finally tell her.

There’s a long pause where she doesn’t do anything, and then her body kind of softens, and she lets out a sigh. “Why?”

“Because I like you,” I tell her. I start playing with the rim of the plastic cup just to give myself something to do. “I mean, I already liked you. You were so pretty and kind—and smart as a whip.”

She scoffs and opens her mouth like she’s going to argue, but she stops when I hold up my hand. I need to get through this.

“Didn’t take long before pretty became beautiful,” I tell her. “And for like to turn into…” I swallow thickly. “Something more. Kissing you makes me want to never kiss anyone else, ever again. Kissing you makes me want to burn this lodge down so neither of us has a reason to stay.”

“Maddox,” she says, her voice barely a whisper.

I bow my head. “I know it’s ridiculous. You’ve been dicked around, and I’ve been through the wringer when it comes to love. And you have a job, and I have this place where I put my whole heart and soul. But I thought about how you have to walk away and I…”

“Panicked,” she repeats.

I nod and shrug, feeling foolish, but it’s hard to care. She’s not looking at me like she’s judging me. She’s looking at me like she feels the same way.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” she says.

A small, soft laugh bursts from my chest. “No, it wasn’t. I probably seem like some weasel who says that to all the women, but—”

“You don’t,” she cuts in. She pushes her plate to the side, her hands resting on the table before she slides one over to touch my forearm. I’m not yet brave enough to hold her hand back, but I’m not about to pull away either. “I know you’re not that guy. If I wanted that guy, I would have slept with Monty.”

I give an exaggerated shudder to make her smile, and my heart soars when it works and she covers her laugh with one hand. “I don’t know what to say, Eden. I don’t know what to do.”

“Me either.”

I finally take her hand in mine, brushing my thumb over her palm, her fingers, then pulling it to my lips so I can kiss the inside of her wrist. She makes the smallest noise, then leans into me, though the corner of the table makes it impossible for me to hold her.

“I wish I had an answer,” I say. “Some solution to fix all this, but—”

“Hey, boss.”

The sound of Zara’s voice is an unwelcome addition to this conversation, but I turn anyway, letting Eden go as discreetly as I can. Zara looks well rested, if not still a little stressed, but she also doesn’t seem like she knows what she interrupted.

“What’s up?” I ask when Zara continues to stand there.

“Just wanted to let you know my brother made it up the road in his truck,” she says. Her braids are tied together with an elastic band, and she pushes the collection of them off her shoulder. “He said they got most of the trees cleared out of the way, and the sheriff is making room for anyone stuck up here to get back to town.”

I realize immediately what she’s offering, and Eden does too because I can see her go a little pale in my periphery. I know she has to take this chance. There’s no telling when we’ll get another car up here big enough to take her back to the city—back to her real life.

But there’s this little spark of hope in me that she’ll just shake her head and say no and…

And just…

Stay.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” she says. My heart feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it, shattering it into a billion pieces in my chest. “Do I have time to pack?”

Zara’s looking between me and Eden like she knows something is amiss. I can’t look directly at Eden now, but I know I’ve lost my poker face entirely.

“Yeah,” Zara says slowly. “Take all the time you need.”

I swallow thickly, then jump to my feet and paste on a smile that I know looks fake. Zara’s brows go high up on her forehead, but I jump in before she can call me out. “I should get back to work. Mountain of shit to take care of, thanks to the storm.” I’m still not looking at Eden. I can’t. “Zara, call me on my walkie if you need anything. Tell your brother to drive safe back down the mountain.”

I take three steps away before I hear my name—softly, an ache in her tone. “Maddox?”

I don’t stop. If I stop, I won’t be able to keep going. It doesn’t matter that I know damn well nothing can happen between us, that there never was a future. We had an agreement, and that agreement was fulfilled.

But that doesn’t stop me from feeling the ache, knowing the most perfect woman I have ever known is walking away from me. There are no promises to be spoken, and I just cannot do a goodbye. So, I put one foot in front of the other, pretend like she isn’t calling for me, and haul ass away from wherever she’s going to be.

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