Page 65 of Loving Whiskey

“Don’t you have a party to get back to, Kit Cat?” I reply, pointing to the tent with what feels like hundreds of people in it. Of course, Hanson would make this a publicity stunt. The entire relationship is. I don’t know how Cat stands to be around him. This entire idea is ludicrous, and it drives me mad thinking that my sister is going to marry him just to save the family business.

As if reading my thoughts, she puts her hand on my shoulder. “Cash Money,stop. I’m happy.”

I scoff. “How could you be happy withhim?” I motion toward Hanson who is talking loudly and gesturing. Always the life of the party, always an attention whore—I hate him with a vengeance.

She sucks in a breath and shakes her head. “You don’t know him. We’re friends. This is a good thing, Cash. For us and the company. It’s what needed to be done and I’m not sad about it, so just get over it already.”

I roll my eyes. How can I get over it when it’s my fault we are all in this mess? I never should have agreed to a date with Vanessa. Somehow that jealous woman destroyed everything in our lives.

“But what about kids? Don’t you want them? And sex.Love. I mean you’re entering an arranged marriage with a known playboy. How could any of this make you happy?”

Cat shoots me a look. “Please don’t concern yourself with my sex life. I’m well taken care of.”

“I don’t even want to know what that means.”

“Good. Then don’t ask things you don’t want the answer to. I’m fine, Cash. Last time I checked you’re the one who pushed away the woman you love. None of us are in happily ever after relationships. Give me a break. We all know that in the real world, marriage isn’t like that. People cheat. Spouses die. People betray one another. I’d rather have my fake marriage where I know exactly what I’m getting into. There’s no preconceived notions here. I know who Jay is and he knows who I am, and we aren’t setting any lofty expectations that neither of us can uphold.”

The reminder of my mother’s death, and my part in it, leaves me wincing in pain, and I find myself continuing to lash out even though I don’t want to. I want to grab my sister and shake her. I want to tell her she deserves better, but only vitriol leaves my mouth. “So, you’re just going to turn the other way when he fucks other women?”

She flings her arms. “I don’t know. Maybe. And he’ll look the other way when I do as well. I mean, what can I say? We are entering this with eyes wide open as business partners.”

Seething, I hiss, “It’s a marriage, not a business arrangement.”

“He’s not the person you think he is,” she says, looking behind her again. “I thought you knew that now. He’s the one who stuck by Grace time and again over the last few months after you hung her out to dry.Hepicked up the pieces.Hehelped her rebuild the business you destroyed.”

The truth of her words burns my chest, and I grit out, “That’s because he’s inlovewith her. He wants to be withher. And if he could have her, Cat, he wouldn’t be with you.”

As soon as I see her face fall, I feel like shit. Why did I say that? What is wrong with me lately? Everything that comes out of my mouth is shit.

“Fuck you, Cash. I get that you’re miserable and you’ve lost a lot, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Grace is here. Fix it while you still have a chance to make things right. This is the life I’ve chosen, and if you can’t stand beside me then you can get the fuck out of my way.”

I reach out to her before she can walk away. “I’m sorry, Kit Cat, I was out of line. I just want you to be happy.”

Her breathing is shallow, and she doesn’t look at me. “That’s what I keep trying to tell you. Iam. It may not be what you imagined for my life. And maybe it’s not exactly how I wanted it to go either, but I am happy. And you can be too.” She raises her eyes behind me, motioning for me to turn.

When I do, I find Grace standing there quietly watching us with her eyes wide, and I’m left to wonder how much of our conversation she’s heard. Just more evidence of what a colossal asshole I’ve become.

“I’m sorry. Do you guys want a minute?” she says softly, looking at Cat and avoiding me completely.

Cat shakes her head. “No. You guys talk. Maybe once my brother works out his issues with you, he’ll stop being a complete asshole to everyone else.” She shoots a fake smile in my direction before walking away.

My shoulders fall back in embarrassment, and I roll my neck trying to figure out where to go from here. This isn’t how I wanted to start my conversation with Grace. I turn back to her and find she’s still doing anything to avoid looking at me. How are we going to get past everything if she can’t evenlookat me?

I take the opportunity to stare at her body, to the curve where a baby is currently growing, and I’m surprised to find that I’m even more attracted to her. There was a part of me that wondered if her being pregnant with someone else’s baby would change that for me, but my dick tells me otherwise. If anything, it makes me want to worship her even more. I just want to touch her, hold her,fix us.

“We can do this later,” Grace suggests, still not looking at me.

I move closer to her. “I’d really like to talk to you now. If you still want to?”

When she raises her eyes, immense hurt is all I see reflected in her gaze. But she nods and waits for me to lead.

For a few moments we walk in silence along the path to the water. I didn’t really have a destination until I did. This is where I came to talk to my mother about Grace. And there is a bench which we really need right now. I can’t apologize to her as we walk. I need to be able to look her in the eyes so she can see just how sorry I truly am.

What I really want to do, what would make the apology perfect, is if I could take her in my arms and dance with her. But even I know that is asking too much.

The sky has gone from fire orange to a light pink as the sun is finishing its descent. Soon the entire yard will be lit up by only lanterns, twinkling lights, and the stars.

“Can we sit?” I ask, motioning to the bench.

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