Chapter 45
Grace
We’rebothsilentonthe way to Bristol. Frank is with his family, so Cash is driving for once, and it feels odd sitting up front in the SUV I wasn’t aware he owned. There’s so much we still don’t know about one another. And now we’ll be raising a little girl together. But before that I’ll be meeting his grandparents. The people who raised him. The man he’s admired his entire life. And the woman who everyone warns me I should fear.
I’m spiraling.
Cash’s hand lands on my knee, and I realize I’d been bouncing it. “Sorry,” I mutter sheepishly, looking out the window again.
Cash squeezes. “It’s okay to be nervous. I know this is all a lot.”
I laugh dryly. “Um, you just found out you’re going to be a dad in twenty-two weeks…how are you not this jittery?”
“Angel, I’m thrilled I’m going to be a dad in twenty-two weeks. This is a dream come true. How are you feeling though?”
I turn to face him. Cash’s eyes dance as they study me. He’s not lying. I can see joy radiating off him; he’s thrilled.
I twist my fingers together. “I don’t know. I’m so not prepared to be a mother. And now I have even less time to figure it out. I mean I never had a good example of what a mother should be. What if I’m like her?”
It’s almost more stressful having a daughter. What if I don’t know how to do this? What if I’m as selfish as everyone says I am? I don’t want to do to my child what my mother did to me. But I also don’t know how to be any different.
Cash pulls my twisting hands apart and brings my fingers to his mouth, kissing them softly, one by one as he continues to drive. “Gracie, you are warm and loving. You arefiercelyprotective of those you care about, and you stand on your own two feet. Our daughter is going to be incredibly lucky because she will see that a woman can be all those things. She doesn’t have to shrink or mold herself into what society says. She will have a role model, and I for one know that I wouldn’t want any other woman to be the mother of my child.”
His words hit a place in my chest, opening me up to feel every syllable from his tongue. They are words I will need to remind myself of when things grow dark in my mind, and I store them away like the precious treasure they are. “Thank you.”
Cash turns to me and winks. “I’ll be your personal cheerleader anytime.”
I smile imagining him with pom-poms and a skirt. The giggle escapes and he eyes me. “You’re imagining me in costume, aren’t you?”
“Yup,” I say, popping the p as I continue laughing.
Cash shakes his head with a big goofy grin on his face. “Anything to make you smile, Angel.”
The house is decorated to the nines, and I can’t help but wonder who did it. No one lives here full time and yet a ten-foot Christmas tree stands in the center of the living room lit up and looking as if a Hallmark movie were set to be filmed here.
ABalsam Hillcatalog threw up all over, and I’m loving every inch of it. Not surprisingly, the woman who is a softie for a love story, secretly reads romance novels, and never had a big family Christmas growing up, would be swooning over this setup. I can hardly contain my excitement.
Cat rushes straight at me when we walk in. She’s dressed in a red sweater and black leather pants. Her sky-high heeled boots leave her towering above me. “How was the doctor this morning?”
“It went well,” I say as I lean into her hug. “Baby is fine. In fact, we got a little surprise.”
Cash walks in and I eye him, wondering if he wants to be the one to tell his sister or if we are waiting to make some big announcement. I’ve never had a big family where these type of things are a big deal, so I’m suddenly lost as to the proper etiquette. Cash simply winks and wraps his arm around me, cradling my belly.
“I’m going to be a girl dad,” he says, and even though I can’t see his face, I can feel his smile against my cheek.
“A girl! Ah, I’m so excited!” she screeches in excitement.
Jay walks in at that moment, and I feel Cash’s grip tighten. “You’re having a girl?” he asks me with a smile.
I lean back against Cash, trying to give him a little of my strength. “Yes, we’re having a girl,” I say softly, turning to meet Cash’s eyes. They dance in joy, and I know Jay can’t possibly have an effect on him anymore. He has all he needs.
“That’s great. Congrats,” Jay says as he snakes his arm around Cat, pulling her in close.
“I honestly didn’t care about the sex of the baby—just happy she’s mine,” Cash says under his breath.
“What? Whose baby did you think it was?”
Cash nuzzles his lips against my neck. “I’d really rather not talk about this.”