Page 47 of A Bridge to Nowhereland

“This is a nice place and all, but I’m not completely convinced that this is where I should be. I understand it might not be easy to undo this, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.” I wasn’t giving up until there wasn’t a shred of my life left to return to. My entire life, I’d worked toward having some stability, a normal existence. This place? I might as well be a kid again, moving from place to place, never knowing what would come next.

“Why are you so set on getting back? This isn’t a bad gig,” Connor said, tossing his magazine on the table, bored enough to participate in the conversation.

Dice squinted. “What’d you leave behind? You upset about a guy?”

“No, notjusta guy,” I said. “I have plans. I’d finished an accounting degree and was interviewing. I also have a mother that depends on me, and yes, a boyfriend who I’m pretty serious with.”

“Let’s see him,” Cookie said, blowing past all the other details.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and flipped to a picture of Johnny and me from his last birthday. We’d gone out with a bunch of friends and then danced until our feet hurt. He’d told me he loved me that night, when we were sitting in his car later on. It had been a slow burn with him, but he became my rock.

“His name’s Johnny,” I said, showing Cookie. Connor and Dice leaned in, and I turned the phone to them.

There was a look that passed between the three of them, as if I were blind to facial expressions.

“He’s cute,” Cookie said with a flat tone.

“Oh. Well, yeah, I can understand that,” Dice said, sounding as if he didn’t at all.

There was that look again. I could handle judgment toward me, but I’d always been more sensitive when something derogatory was directed at someone I cared for.

Not just cared for.Loved. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t thinking about me. It was whatever voodoo happened with this place.

“What was that look for?” I asked, pausing to look at each one of them, trying to determine who’d be the weak link and talk first.

“Huh?” Cookie asked.

“What are you talking about?” Dice asked, going back to his guns.

Connor said nothing, but that was par for the course. He was always more inclined to silence.

“I saw the look you guys gave each other. What was it for?” I asked.

“It was just a look. Let it go,” Cookie said.

Connor nodded, as if that were good advice.

“Some things you’re better off not knowing,” Dice said.

“Except I’m not one of those people. I want to know.” They might not realize it, or maybe they did, but I wasn’t going to drop this until I found out what that look was about.

“If you really—”

“Don’t do it,” Dice said, looking at Cookie as he cut her off.

Connor shook his head and then picked up his magazine again so he could bury his head in it.

Cookie waved her lollipop at Dice. “She wants to know. I’m not going to bullshit her. She’s a big girl. She can handle the truth.”

“It’s pointless,” Dice said, leaning forward. “Why upset her? She’s not going back anyway. No one goes back alive.”

“I’mmaking it back alive, so I suggest you tell me,” I said.

Connor’s head, buried in the magazine, was shaking.

Cookie stared at Dice. “I’m telling her, and you’re not stopping me.” She turned toward me, as if dismissing Dice once and for all. “Chickee, I hate to break this to you, but you got yourself a bad apple there.”

“You’re saying Johnny is a bad apple? Because why? You didn’t like his shirt in the picture? The part of his hair?” They didn’t know him. They might imagine that they knew everything about everyone, butIknewhim.

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