Page 102 of Ivy's Venom

All of this is my fault and Charlotte is a by-product of my toxic personality.

“Okay,” I nod, “pull over, we’ll do it. We’ll raise this baby and live happily fucking ever after, okay Charlotte?”

“I don’t believe you, Ivy.” She sounds resigned, “if I can’t have you, no one can.”

Her face becomes still, not a trace of emotion etched into the features, and her body tightens. I look straight ahead and see a sign that states ‘dead end’, Charlotte doesn’t ease up on the gas. We fly down the small residential street and I know what’s going to happen.

I close my eyes and let myself drift out of my body, detached from everything. I think of my family and how much I love them, even though I don’t show it. I think of Charlotte and how much I’ve wronged her. And then I think of me and how little faith I put into myself. I accept everything and when it’s over, I can only hope I end up where Nana Jenna is.

The car jolts a bit as it hits a wooden barrier, but it does little to slow us down, and then it feels like we’re taking off on a runway. My eyes stay tightly shut as my stomach lifts to my throat and then we hit the ground, my body jarring with the impact.

I hear Charlotte mutter an ‘oh God,’ the car slams into an object, and then the sound of crunching metal, like what I heard at the Demolition Derby Dad took us to one year. My seatbelt locks and tightens across my chest, cutting into the skin. The airbag deploys and my face bounces off the material, like a hard smack. It’s hard to breathe, the pain slowly penetrates my insides, and my body begins to scream in protest.

The smell of burning metal and gasoline hits my nostril, the combined scents forcing my eyes open. Charlotte groans beside me and I turn my head-the pain slicing up my neck-to look at her. The first thing I see is her face against the deployed airbag and blood dripping off her chin. Her skin is completely covered in blood.

“Charlotte.” My voice breaks and my arm feels like lead as I reach for her.

She makes a weird noise every time she sucks in a breath and it’s short, the effort rattling in her chest.

“No.” I moan.

I can’t let her be the one to get in trouble for this, it’s all my fault, and the only reason we’ve ended up here is because of me. Everything is because of me. I click the button of her seatbelt and she slides forward, her body flush with the wheel. Then I release mine and I pull the lever to open my door. It takes a few small pushes but the door finally gives and swings open wide.

The car is on a steep slope and the drop off at the cliff is only about five feet ahead, the large tree saved us from certain death.

“Charlotte, wait.” I tell her and pull myself out of the car.

As soon as my feet hit the earth, my legs collapse under me, and my knees sink into the mud. Standing is too difficult as I battle the gravity of the slope and the pain in my legs, so I crawl. I claw through sticks and leaves, pulling my body to the back of the car, and then let myself slide feet first to the driver’s side door.

I reach up and grab the lever, tugging the door open, and letting it fly wide like mine did. Using the door as leverage, I haul myself up to standing, and lean against it as I reach inside for Charlotte.

She’s so fucking heavy, her body unmoving as I pull her out, and lay her on the mud.

“Charlotte,” I sink to my knees beside her, “can you hear me?”

“Ivy…” her voice is weak and she sounds like she’s far away. “I’m sorry…”

“No!” I scream and gasp when I hear sirens in the distance. Someone must’ve heard the crash, “help is coming, Charlotte… please.”

“Ivy…” the rattling in her chest sounds worse, “I love…” her body relaxes into my hold and I scream as the rattling noise disappears.

“Charlotte! No!” I shake her and her head lolls at the movement. “Take me instead!” I scream at whoever is taking her away. “Take me!”

The sirens are just above now and the lights are illuminating the area around us in red and blue, but I can’t take my eyes off my best friend’s face. She looks at peace and I hate it, I want that peace. I want to go with her. I want to take her fucking place.

I hear a few shouts and hear the crunch of sticks and leaves as people come for us. But it’s fucking useless.

Because they are too fucking late.

There are voices that don’t belong in my memory. My mom and my dad, they weren’t with me and Charlotte that night. How can I hear them? If they were there, they would know my lie about driving, and Charlotte would be blamed. But that’s not how it went.

I was questioned thoroughly at the hospital, about the drag marks around the car, about the severity of Charlotte's injuries and how she couldn’t have been the one to do it. The front driver’s side of the car took the brunt of the damage, causing Charlotte’s head to hit the steering wheel before the bag deployed, and then the bag breaking her ribs, puncturing her lung.

But I maintained that that couldn’t have happened because I was in the driver’s seat and she was my passenger. I had been drinking and decided to take us on a joyride. After days of rigorous questions, there wasn’t much more they could do without my story changing, and instead suggest my penalty would be a reform school of sorts.

Rodney agreed to the terms and refused to press charges, and my family shipped me off to Johnstone Academy to start my sentence. I’ve never told a soul about what really happened and I always maintained it was me. But I was going to tell Neil, I wanted him to know me, and that meant every single secret that was festering inside of me. I wanted to lay myself bare and wait for his judgement.

As the memory fades, Charlotte’s face appears in front of mine, and she looks beautiful. Her face is radiant and she has a bright glow around her, her smile wide. I miss her smile and seeing it now makes me want to beg her to take me with her, again.

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